Sorry, no. Your constructed excuses STILL can’t validate piracy.
But good effort.

The best part is when she leaves.
And never comes back.

That’s some stealthy opposition research right there.

Are you gonna eat your chips, ‘cuz I missed lunch...
Besides, there’s going to be a full buffet there of bull-something-or-other later tonight, so you don’t NEED the chips.
All this is to say, GIMME YOUR CHIPS BEFORE I EAT THIS KEYBOARD.
...please?

There are benchmarking applications that can tell you if your computer is capable of playing a certain game BEFORE you purchase the game.

I found maintaining different walk-in-closet-fulls of my finery at each of my residences too tedious, so I just bought a slightly bigger plane and had the designers outfit the back fifth of the cabin as my mobile boutique. Problem solved.

‘Tis a good point. Modern day nuclear submarines are the closest thing humanity has to starships right now.

“Staying true to the character”.

This is so wrong, so very very wrong.
Why the fuck would Jesus drink fucking BUDWEISER?!?!

Killing zombies with my younger siblings in Left4Dead 2 while we all shout at each other over Skype.

Oh gods, PLEASE don’t crash it.

Jizz-ghazi

Vote: Cellet Adjustable Automobile Cup Holder Mount
Why: I’ve gone through a few windshield mounts, and they were very sturdy (and never fell off), but having an already warm smartphone (when charging anyway) in direct sunlight always ended up causing problems.

Yes sir, and that’s what I had to do in fact.
Though, in my particular instance, I didn’t recall what version I HAD been on, so it took some stumbling around to find a “last known good” version.

Updating your video card drivers can also make your CableCARD stop working on premium cable channels.

OKAY, so she refuses to resign, suspecting (probably correctly) that her backwards town won’t impeach her, and going to jail would just feed her persecution complex...

They definitely last longer.
The using-less-energy bit is nice on the energy budget too.

Hashtag this as #CheapBastard if you will, but I’ve been hang-drying my dress and polo shirts on regular hangers for a few years now.

Was coming here to ask that very question.