Well, they're really only the TINIEST of holes.
You'll hardly notice them.

I really really really really don't want to die in a car accident before this next season is out.

OMG people, disposable hazmat suits aren't that expensive.

Relaxation exercises and low-strength herbal sleep remedies might help mitigate this somewhat for you, as well as a mouth guard (I know, mouth guards are just sexy as all hell).

Snoring CAN be caused by a weight gain, or something as simple as the position/angle of your head while you're sleeping.

Just as an experiment, try recording yourself sleeping (audio at the very minimum).
If you find yourself snoring, listen carefully to see if at any point it sounds as if you are gasping; this is a pretty sure sign of obstructive sleep apnea and is a SERIOUS medical condition that affects quite a few people.

Try to find the ideal temperature for you to sleep in.
Being too hot or too cold can prompt you to shift a lot in your sleep.

Maybe ask your partner to sleep sitting up.

With enough cheese, NOTHING falls out.

My first thought was that the staff must have been high, but by the end of the tale, I was honestly beginning to wonder if there hadn't been some kind of toxic gas leak that was scrambling them that badly.

I question the authenticity of her statement.

YOU SHUT YOUR FACEHOLE!

I don't think there's a "one size fits all" answer to something like this.

That was my point.

Then my new dermatologist and my old one back in my home state must have been very successful con artists, because they advised the OPPOSITE of what you're saying.

Yeah, but you would be surprised at the indignant push-back I'm getting from it...

STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR STAR.
Aw screw it....I'm going to use use up the end of my Google advertising credits and SEO to direct all search results to your post.

I'm not being argumentative, I'm actually curious since I was raised in a washcloth family...do you use a new washcloth for every showering?

I find it fascinating that men and women, despite being told constantly that big penises (penii?) are not the average, that huge perky breasts aren't average, that bleached underbits aren't average, and that average skin is not naturally flawless, still somehow expect these things and are disappointed when they do not…

I would have once thought this went without saying, but in relation to showering/bathing properly...SCRUB ALL EXPOSED SKIN, don't just wash the "highlights" and rinse everything else.