Sounds like he’s auditioning to be a Southern cop

The long awaited porn parody, starring Agador Spartacus, “Jyour-Ass-ic Park”

Rape-tor

I’m offended that she’s offended by being lumped in with gays almost as much as I’m offended by the idea that gay people would EVER WEAR CROCS

As a Terry Gross stan and gay man, I have no real issue with this. I’m used to it.

This is what’s called a lazy defense.

Done.

That article is so upsetting.

Normally I’d get a rise from him telling the media only to report what authorities say they can... But “the media” have been fucking this shit UP lately and they need a spanking!

“David Duke cock,” to be exact

That’s right. One bad song and you’re dead to me!

So does this mean Beyoncé will be there again since they have two songs together? I think the rules say Beyoncé has to be there. I’m pretty sure that’s how football works.

I like this idea (though I would have worded it as a suggestion)

Gay guys do, but you mean straight guys I think and I don’t speak their language

I kept waiting expectantly for one of those shooting stars to come down and blow up the cat. What does this say about me?

Now that’s a great apology! You got this!

Well I’m glad they wouldn’t be called “Sac”

Paris Hilton for Men is my favorite scent. It started as a joke and now I rarely buy anything else

Paris Hilton is a goddamn saint. 😂Seriously, though, she’s smarter than she pretends, and that’s no accident. Lord help me, I’m Team Paris.

I don’t understand how this is supposed to help. Third party candidates are third party for a reason. They are the third (and fourth, and twelfth, etc.) most popular parties by membership (at this moment, by a YUUUGE margin). Rallying behind third party candidates might actually do some good for the party at the local…