I actually had a dog named Weenie.

I just unpacked this the other night, and I took it to bed with me.

Yeah, yesterday when the Internet was all IT WAS MADE OF A MILLION BILLION REALLY REAL AKOYA PEARLS I was thinking AKOYA must be a new name for plastique.

it would have been way too heavy.

Okay, I get your point, but just coincidentally this is me last night, and if you can't smell what THIS dude is cooking there might be something wrong with you.

yeah. I came around the corner in the clubhouse at Churchill Downs one day and there he was, and I almost burst into tears.

The Six Feet Under finale is my favorite of all time, and it makes me feel good that Amy Poehler agrees with me.

It was a hell of a strike, and there was a lot of excitement backstage when the backup dancer collected his trophy. We'll be talking about it at League Night for years!

I'm telling you, I've been around the block and seen a few celebrities in the flesh, but only two have made me feel emotional... Muhammad Ali and Brian Wilson.

ya know, I was thinking that same thing. I inherited some good pearls from my MIL and those suckers are HEAVY.

Awwww, Brian Wilson! He brings out all the tenderest feelings in me. I saw him at Jazz Fest a couple of years ago, he has the sweetest presence and I just wanted to run hold an umbrella for him so the sun wouldn't be in his eyes.

the actual Marvin was at my actual wedding. He gave us a crystal ashtray, which I'm using now, actually.

Somebody probably already mentioned it but on Fashion Police Guiliana Rancic said (I may be paraphrasing,) "...and fuck you to the Acadamy anyway for leaving Joan Rivers out of the ceremony..." and in my memory this comment came directly from the gut, complete with hand gestures. It would make a good companion gif…

One of my favorite podcasts is OMFG, wherein two older mom-types hang onto their last shreds of coolness by interviewing youngsters and aggressively grilling them regarding current hipsterisms. These ladies are providing a major public service, especially if you, like me, enjoy confusing and disturbing your kids by…

Ok I'm going to say it. I don't like Lupita's dress up close. However, I have a barrel of Mardi Gras beads sitting here so hello, next year's Halloween costume!

DISNEY PRINCESS NIPPLES

PICK FLICK

I like that big goofball Michael what's-his-name, Kelly's new friend.

I'm sorry that happened to you, I would have been just as devastated. I've always lived far away from my family, and consequently the whole family funeral thing is a vital way for me to feel connected. When else do you have the opportunity to sit around with cousins and aunts and uncles, looking at pictures and…