The urge to come back at you with some version of “not all men,” was just intercepted and dick punched by the recent memory of my wife’s derisive laughter and, “Oh shut the fuck up. You hate men.” I am one (man, 66 y.0.), and she’s so right. Over the past 30 years, I made exactly one good friend who is a man, but I…

My yoga instructor pointed this out when we were chatting one day, i was lamenting about my latest heartbreak and she commented that all the single ladies is their 30s and up were all fantastic

Men aren’t raised to be exceptional. Society tells them they don’t have to be to succeed.

I’m nearly your age and currently happily alone - like, my parents keep remarking I seem happier than I ever have; and I think, that’s because I don’t have some dude screwing my life up. I’ve been married, several times. Never for as good a reason as it seemed at the time (which includes pregnancy); never for long.…

Aren’t there studies that basically say, all else being equal (in countable ways), men are worse at dealing with adversity than women? Makes me want to dive into why again. I wonder if it’s just “here are all the ways testosterone makes you worse”

I remember her (someone?) saying it as “Qut’b” with a very soft “B.” I’m guessing the “kot-bee” is pragmatic recognition that English speakers can’t make Arabic noises, like when circa 2002 there was a group decision for everyone to start mispronouncing Qatar as “Cutter.” This is probably one reason why she named her…

As a 43-yr-old married man, I agree with this. I’m a decent husband and father, but wouldn’t say I’m ‘exceptional’. My wife, on the other hand, is truly exceptional. She’s a doting mother, a patient wife, my best friend, and is generous and kind to all who cross her path.

We don’t acknowledge it as we should, but there is still a dynamic in this society that tells women—and especially women of a certain age—that they are obligated to accept what they can, while men are entitled to hold out for the best.

I’m about the same age as your mother, and she’s right: not only am I way “too old” for men my age; there are a lot of 70-80 year olds who would think I’m too old for them! It’s a good thing I have no particular interest in men. (Not that it’s so easy when you’re interested in women, even if I were trying!)

Absolutely this. It breaks my heart that my 60 year old mum has been single for 25 years meanwhile my dad (who was abusive, she dumped him) got remarried within 2 years. She’s the most wonderful person, but somewhere along the way she just lost all hope in finding someone. She always jokes that she’d have to find a 90…

Yes. I am forty, and I know too many women for whom this happened, mostly friends from grad school who followed spouses around to low paying academic jobs that were still the primary career. So now they have kids, are still geographically limited in where they can live, and are financially strapped.

I started dating a guy at work who spent two weeks falling over himself trying to woo me (“You’re the most beautiful woman in Virginia!” Him: I’m sorry I wasted your time today. Me: you didn’t! It’s lovely talking with you! Him:I can’t wait to invest more time with you). Then he ghosts. Um, moron, we work together.…

It seems anxiety inducing and total no fun for the kids, I agree. The courting process now too uneven with any emotion filtered through electronics so difficult to verify as real. To put yourself out there with hope risks complete humiliation.

This comment is the perfect response to the title of this post. I immediately found myself questioning why other women (mostly I assume) basically told the author all the changes she had to make to ‘get a guy’. I’m actually impressed that she has been so positive in this response as I remember a nasty comment to her…

You have so hit the nail on the head.

Can I pipe in from the opposite angle? ‘Cause I’m old.

When the first guy I dated after years of being alone (because of weird emotionally abusive almost relationship fucked me up) ghosted me, I was shocked by how devastated I was. It had only been 3 dates. It wasn’t like I was in love. You perfectly described that feeling. It was shocking and abrasive. I’ve had trouble…

I got my original The Future Is Female T-shirt at Otherwild (part of the proceeds go to Planned Parenthood) and I’m damn proud of it. Whenever I wear it, I get a thumbs up by random women in the street and sometimes girls even want to take a selfie with me.

This was my grad cap for my college graduation last weekend:

Every revolution has a commodified/fashionable element - that’s how messaging spreads. The French Revolution, in particular, ran on sartorial signaling, with Marie Antoinette’s favorite stylist making extravagantly expensive silk rosettes in revolutionary colors for the rich to accessorize with, and several people…