But why now? Why This Sperm?

Klein was forced to stuff Wildenstein inside a closet to prevent another rabid attack, sources said.

Oh man, our house was littered with bodice rippers when I was growing up. I read sooo many of them at a VERY young age, lol. My mom says that once she was walking by my room, and saw that I had set my dolls up all around me for story time. I was earnestly reading a line like, “And then he grabbed her and pushed her…

Kindly read the 4,000+ word history I just spent months writing explaining why that is a gross oversimplification before you comment.

Have you ever seen Amy Schumer and Tom Hanks in the same place at the same time?

If it was some western mother sending tweets from her child’s perspective about waiting for Santa Clause or something else banal no one would bat an eye, but because people don’t want to comprehend the suffering this child is going through they’ll try and find any reason to dismiss the source.

If the tone you were going for in the Kristin Davis section was total asshole, you really nailed it.

No, wait — fratboys who have been caught sexually assaulting an unconscious person and have been charged with rape are the ones who mope around and fail to eat their favorite snacks and such. We women? We’ve got to be strong as well as good looking.

Makes sense, she can’t stay with someone for too long. Otherwise they start asking questions about how she never ages and needs permission to enter people’s homes.

I’m still sad Lord&Taylor didn’t catch on.

“In this particular case I think spying on the N Koreans might be best left to professionals.”

kid

The way this all blew up in Duncan Hunter’s face is absolutely delicious.

You guys! My friend’s seven year old daughter wrote Obama because she was upset about people abandoning animals at animal shelters. SHE GOT A LETTER FROM HIM YESTERDAY! A real letter! With a real signature! It wasn’t just a form letter - he acknowledged the things she said in her letter and agreed that, yes, we need…

GO GET HIM OBAMA

Probably not very since he was already composing Hamilton in 2009 and performed part of it at the White House about a year and a half before the first episode of Epic Rap Battles of History came out in September of 2010?

Really?

So, she totally rebuffed his flirting and he’s taking his hurt fee-fees to the media, right?

So it’s about ethics in film making?

No. Absolutely no shit. Ever again.