I had one guy try to obscene phone call me at my job and he was SO BAD at it! I honestly couldn’t figure out what the hell he was talking about and finally he’s all plaintively “...um, you know, desserts? Do you sell desserts? Like cream pie?” I hope my gales of laughter got through to him.

The book was commonly known as the Buggre Alle This Bible. The lengthy compositor’s error, if such it may be called, occurs in the book of Ezekiel, chapter 48, verse five:

See, this is such bullshit. If I can’t wave the Confederate flag at college football games, then how am I supposed to express my support for an anachronistic system of exploitation in which old white men get rich off of unpaid labour?

dooodledoodledooo dooodledooodledooodledooodoo
dooodledoodledooodooo dooodldoodledood

I, too, would like to...uh... “compliment”...those people.

so? so what if it’s anti-catholic? since when are they a protected class? fuck em.

I literally always wonder about these people.

My go to curse is: May every step you take feel like you’re walking on Legos.

I hate to go around popping everyone’s NDP bubbles*, but landslides like this are not the result of strategic voting. They are the result of a pretty weak campaign run by Mulcair, and the fact that, actually, Canadians really fucking like Justin Trudeau.

I just wanna introduce someone to y’all.

University of Guelph’s group page on facebook, currently

“someone so appealingly liberal he might as well be an IUD with a dick.”

I get a good vibe from this guy. I picked Clinton in 1991 and Obama in 2004, and I accurately predicted exactly to what degree each would please and disappointment in turn. I think he’ll have the instincts to move to the left, but I think he’ll make some mistakes along the way, but none being disastrous.

When I was in college my school had a student exchange program with the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. There were only a few slots and it was very competitive. I applied and didn’t get accepted. You know who did get accepted to St. Andrews that year? Prince William and Kate Middleton. I guess what I’m trying…

A child who is excited because he was just accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

LASER HAIR REMOVAL. The best beauty money I have ever spent.

Hell Toupée.

Fuckface Von Clownstick

I’m proud to say my grandfather is a changed man now, after years of me gently saying “Opa, no, that’s not how that works...”