RIGHT? I still mourn that adorable little show.

It’s almost like there’s literally nothing a girl or woman can wear without getting grief ... no, that can’t be it.

Completely aside from the movie itself, I’m reeling at Robert Carlyle having grey hair and a moustache. When I think of him, I still see this:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a writer in possession of a blank headline must be in want of a dead celebrity.

House of the Scorpion?

Did someone sacrifice a goat to the Headline Gods so this would happen?

I figured it out when I was... like... 12? 13? I was kind of an oblivious kid. And I only thought about it because one of my friends was saying to another of my friends how “rich” my family was, which puzzled me, because we aren’t really. Upper middle class, maybe? To me, growing up, we were about normal. Suburbs,…

I never really bought the Stockholm Syndrome argument; isn’t it to do with a prisoner being treated (relatively) better than other prisoners and feeling “special” because of it?

Let it be known: do not piss off Shia Leboeuf, unless you can do ju-jitsu.

Thanks, Obama.

Your headlines are showering us in puns.

I live for his performance as Benedick in Much Ado. DEAR GOD THE FEELS.

Christ, ok, try to keep the stupid t-shirts out of their reach, I’m on my way. In my minivan. That should hold like 7, 8 if we get Michelle to sit on the floor.

And now, Fox News, tell us more about the “war on Christmas.”

Aaand with 2016's race to the bottom drawing to a close, Stanford still isn’t even close to the forerunners! Try harder, Stanford.

I always think Australia sounds great and then I hear something like this and dissolve into a pile of nope.

Oh I don’t know; if I could get by on wearing great shoes and being paid to go to parties that sounds pretty grand. Good work if you can get it. I think maybe it’s MEANT to be dismissive but people don’t realize how hard it is to cultivate a reputation of being constantly, fabulously entertaining and then living up to…

Can we talk about how cute her dog is though.

I feel like comparing her to Paris Hilton isn’t quite fair; Zsa Zsa may have been a socialite but she knew what she was about! She had a level of self-awareness that is uncommon in Hollywood, both then and now. The rest of us can only aspire to such wit and fablulousness.

Kate Beaton is a treasure and we don’t even deserve her.