That is the correct way to deal with emotions, yes. At least around the VonBlack estate.

Pass one of those gimlets this way...sounds delicious!

The last time I tried to order a Hurricane, I was delivered a Mai Tai, and when I asked why that was, she said her manager said it was the same drink.

Black Box is seriously the only boxed wine I care for. It really isn't bad at all, and it does keep it pretty fresh. When money's tight, that's a cost effective way to keep oneself wine-d.

I still have nightmares about the hangovers I got as a teenager. Thunderbird, you’re a dirty bastard. And don’t even get me started on Boone’s Farm. I get queasy just thinking of that. Truly cheap wine is bloody godawful. I don't think I'd spend less than $8 without being really worried about the next morning...

I'm still trying to find a bartender up here that can make a classic daiquiri. Not the frozen woo-woo girl kind, the real kind. All I get when I ask is blank confusion.

I am such a sucker for a fun label. I just bought some wine I knew fuck nothing about just because it had a kraken on it. Heh. I’m the impulse driven target those companies are aiming for....

Great piece, it made me lol a great many times.

Does anyone else worry about what would happen if you sat down real hard after a few hours in these things?

I love this.

Yup. It’s like a humble brag, but a faux embarrassed brag. “Oh, I am SOOOOO bad to forget to wear s bra!!!” Fuck right off.

Either or both of those could be true, but it's still distasteful to force others to fuel your self esteem.

Right now, my cheap favorite is Vaseline Intensive Care Healing Serum with cocoa butter. It's delightful. Super moisturizing but doesn't stay wet and slimy forever. Pants can actually be put back on right after. I mean, if you insist on pants and such.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

This cracked me up, because I know someone who will TOTALLY end up doing this. She spent all day wandering around a backyard party in a bikini making little comments about how she felt SO SCANDALOUS wearing a bikini. She made damn good and sure every single solitary person was aware of this, and thusly forced to make…

Girl, and you're right. Not a native. For me, I love North Bend, so what do I know. Tacoma is always messy, filled with traffic and smells. But I also don't likely know where any of the good stuff is.

Not a native. I'm from SoCal, which I guess makes me doubly evil.

The smell remains and is HORRIBLE during the summer. The aroma of Tacoma. Bleah.

Gig Harbor isn't nearly interesting enough to be Florida.

Lol is, in fact, the proper response to Gig Harbor.