Because until you do, you're little more than an armchair quarterback, and your opinion means about fuck nothing.

I've worked for the circus, and seen the way those animals are treasured. Have you?

Also their shit dogs just knocked down a valuable beehive I had, shit on the lawn I practice acro on, pissed on my mailbox and ran in front of my car. You are double hired with benefits.

If you’re ever in Washington in August, come hang out!

I am an asshole about pictures. This one got sneaked. And I love it.

We have a history of silliness. Never let actors drink and ride.

Yeah. I get shit on by PETA for being pro hunting, so when these moron white bread asshole diamonds at ten in the morning fuckbags get their lap dogs eaten, they all wonder what happened.

Also, you amuse me to no fucking end. I lurked for years, but maniacs like you drew me out.

Mr. Von Black spent some time as a vet tech....

You're hired.

A million times this. Our neighbors let their dogs run loose, and comment on how cute the deer are, and how no one should shoot them. Well, enjoy when that day comes that the cute deer bring the coyotes right into your yard and eat your yappy mutts. Grrrr.

Well, I know the second place I’ll be visiting on my Velvet Smacks Fuckheads With A Salmon tour....

I’ve been wishing on a star for that. We actually do have coyotes in these parts, so I may not be entirely out hope.

I don't like my neighbors kids. Maybe I need to look into hyenas. Plus, it would be great revenge on my dick neighbor who likes to run his leaf blower at 7 AM on weekends. Savage.

The chimpanzee thing blows me away. Every person I know who works with their animals was just floored when they heard about that. I don’t think I’ve met a single person who thinks that’s a good idea. Chimps are great until they hit about five, then then want to fuck, fight and kill. And they’re STRONG. I’m chill…

Indeed! He knows he's looking good. I love that it looks like he knows he should pose, while I'm oblivious and making squishy face. Heh. He's such a lover.

I’d have to meet the public Roo to have an actual opinion on whether he’s okay in public (not that I am Dr. Von Black, Kangaroo Woman), but the enclosure isn’t my favorite. I just hate the idea of limiting service animal options, so long as the animals are thriving.

Hmm. Showing breastfeeding? Good, because that shouldn’t even be a thing these days. Showing pretty lady? Also good, because who doesn’t like a pretty lady? Photoshopping the hell out of it so she looks like a freaking cut rate Picasso? Not good.

I will certainly concede that five is perhaps four too many kangaroos. And Christ, rhinos make a mess.

I will readily admit that I am shocked they allow people to breed and sell kangaroos here. I’ve known and worked with plenty of people who own exotics (re-homed, might I add), and if you have the money, time, patience and effort to take care of an exotic, I personally don’t have issues with that. I’ve seen a very many…