I understand openness and squick. I don't really want to think about the nitty gritty of family members having sex, but it's an important part of my life and of some of theirs, so I talk about it with some of them. Part of it is in the approach. If it's a facts of life discussion between peers it doesn't bother me,…

Huh. I'm no student of the classics but I'd always assumed it was similar to the Buddhist interpretation of hope as the opposite of acceptance. Your situation doesn't cause suffering, it's your desire/hope for your situation to change that causes pain. Now that I think about it that doesn't match up at all with any…

I just got put on antipsychotics for bipolar disorder for the first time and feel more clearheaded and hopeful than I have in weeks or months. So. You know, that. If and only if you're in my exact situation. Seriously though, psychiatric treatment is a bit of a crapshoot but can be ridiculously helpful.

Wait, how are you people saying it?

I found the ethical slut to be kind of a pushy infomercial for polyamory. Got a personal or spiritual problem? Try polyamory, the cure for what ails ya! I haven't found a better resource, though, aside from trusted friends and hard won experience.

Great advice here! Just one thing to add: don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good on therapists. In my experience it's really easy to talk yourself out of getting a therapist when you're depressed and anxious, and it's better to give one a shot soon (and drop or replace them if they suck) than to delay…

Yeah I think "Oh but I shouldn't! Oh but I must!" is what it's usually about. Incest squicks me out so I wind up scratching that itch with first time (for sex or for whatever kink), religious vow breaking and other uncomfortable practical situation, and bicurious stuff. I recently dated a guy who surprised me by being…

For sure! I don't think you meant anything bad by it, but you were writing in response to someone who's asking for advice about a woman who "wanted it rough". Since your suggestion was not to talk about it and just press ahead with "exactly what you want to do" it might be worth considering whether you're sometimes…

…weathered?

On topic more in spirit than in letter, but in high school we had a Black History Month assembly that opened with a group of students performing a predictably risqué choreographed dance to The Thong Song. It was magnificent but made for a jarring transition to the more sombre educational segments.

Oh no I'm late! But I went out with a (probable?) murderer last week, and this is too perfect an opening not to share.

The best kind of sneetches are sneetches without.

MBDW's advice is really good, but I've been on your end of things and had a slightly different experience.

Agreed! Don't ask don't tell doesn't work very well for me with FWBs, but we never have any veto power over each other's choices. Mine are more, "gossip about our sex lives extensively and be ready to break things off whenever either of us have a date with potential, and have check ins on occasion to make sure no…

Have you ever tried this? I made the mistake of being open about an actual sexual assault once, and it hurt my reputation far more than the perpetrator's. I certainly wouldn't do that in this case —it would be a level of drama I'm not comfortable with and this guy didn't even assault me. That said, I certainly…

Yeah, spark still happens for me, too, I'm just avoiding real relationships with potential until I get my shit together professionally. That *usually* makes it less insulting when FWBs I'm not crushing on aren't crushing on me either, but dude got under my skin with that comment.

This is all true. Tastes vary for weird reasons. If it's not medical leaving some wet wipes in the bathroom for right before can help, although that's a tough conversation to have with a new partner. I usually do a quick water-wipe because I'm paranoid of a piece of toilet paper being left somewhere or something.

For trouble getting aroused with a partner at all, something along the lines of "Sorry. It's not you, you're gorgeous, I'm just a little nervous (/I get too nervous with new partners). Can we take it slow?" followed by lots of touching, oral sex, and fingerbanging has worked on me.

I've always got shame to spare. Here are a few recent episodes.

My rules for masturbation? Don't do it thinking about someone you're still trying to get over, it'll just make it, er, harder. In all other instances, give 'er.