Hey, your friendly neighborhood ex-bouncer and security person here.

Exactly. I worked in daycare in my early 20s. Oh my god. The illnesses. The time the kid got sent to school with diarrhea and EVERYONE got rampant diarrhea. Washing hands didn’t do the trick, because the kids touch everything. I finally had to quit after I got pneumonia for the second time. The doctor said, “You need…

I understand the sentiment. I used to work at a doggie day care and let me tell you, white people get really mad when you actually acknowledge that their dog is in fact a dog and not an actual person. So I can only imagine how they’re going to go off if their kid eats paste or some shit.

Once, an 8-top of Christians left one of those “Here’s a Tip for You!” pamphlets on my table, in lieu of a cash tip. I was sort of used to this, so I didn’t remark much, just tossed it into the bus tub with the rest of the debris, and a glower.

I’m a little late but here goes. I worked in a Gay Dennys in Arizona and soon after gay marriage became legal, I had the most adorable elderly couple of men, one white, one black. They were seated at the counter and had on these beautiful leis. I asked if I could feel the real flowers and asked what the occasion was.…

IT’S LIKE YOU DIDN’T EVEN LISTEN TO HIM. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I love it when people are so BLATANTLY WRONG when calling other people out. How’s that going for you, by the way?

You’re lazy tbh

If you had bothered to read even the first TWO paragraphs of this article, then you would know that Vwolf is using the correct pronouns.

Bruce said in the interview that he prefers male pronouns until he says otherwise. It’s even mentioned in the beginning of this article.

I know we’re getting way off topic here considering this is a food blog but since you shared a crazy tech support story I’ve got one that I am dying to get out.

Omfg yes. I needed this. Had a woman call in screaming about her wireless cable box not working. I ask her how far her modem is from her box and she goes (in a super redneck voice) “LISTEN, mah house is lahk...2,500 SQUARE FEET, OKAAY?!” So I ask again and she responds with “500 feet!”

Jamie Allmeyer’s story reminds me of my checkered history of ordering drinks in Utah. There’s the time I was told the wine special was “peanut gringo.” There’s the time my wife and I ordered two margaritas and had four individual glasses delivered to our table (Cuz, y’know, we each wanted two margaritas a piece. At…

We went to a restaurant in Philly that had been on Gordon Ramsey’s show...out of curiosity,

Cmon, beets are tasty, nutritious, and as a bonus with the red ones you get to see what your poo would look like if you were bleeding internally!

Being British and studying in the US, I acquired the rather unimaginative nickname ‘England’. I was sitting in my dorm room with my new boyfriend and a (finger)blast from the past, and the blast from the past casually mentions that we banged, and looks to the boyfriend for a reaction. Boyfriend’s jaw twitches a…

In high school, the reply “your mom” was super popular where I was (possibly years after it was popular everywhere else) and people used it constantly. Because I have a super dark sense of humor, I waited and waited for the perfect time when someone would thoughtlessly say that to me and it finally happened one day…

But did your friend get impregnated by the guy she was at the bar stalking? Nosy people want to know.

1985. I was walking into a bar with one of my more friendly friends. She helped me dress up and put on some sick make up. I dare to say that I looked HAWT! We were there to dance and maybe meet some guys. She was there to meet/stalk one in particular. I just wanted a night out.

In college, walking down the street smoking a cigarette. Jail guys cleaning the road catcall me and my friend, we ignore. They are persistent. One says “Hey beautiful, don’t you know smoking is bad for you??”