NO. GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Meanwhile, iTunes is still shit.

The guy left his wife while she was in the middle of battling breast cancer. He indeed is a piece of shit.

Deadspin’s Cuboner is fully engorged.

I don’t think this would have been a story had Lackey yelled, “Run like there’s fried chicken and beer waiting for you in the clubhouse!”

I don’t care if he’s a good pitcher. I’m so glad the Cardinals didn’t extend this asshole’s contract.

Also, you can’t spell “John Lackey” without “cankle.”

It took me less time to write it than it did for you to figure out how many days it’s been since he signed with the Cubs, but thanks for playing.

“How many home runs does he have?”

I guess I’m just stupid, but what is he supposed to be learning here? Not to hit home runs off Precious John?

Deadspin loves the Cubs.

Yeah, Lackey’s a piece of shit. Doesn’t matter what team he plays for.

Padres fans have long memories, too:

What’s funny is, had he done this in a Cardinals uniform last year, the tone of this post would be remarkably different.

.

Calm down you guys- Geoffrey originally wrote a solid article on ‘The Case Against Pet Shop Boys’, but Marchman told him to rewrite it and cut out a couple of words. And we can all agree that West End Girls is a horrible song, right?

Modeski, Martin & Wood?

The only thing I remember about him is this: