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Yes

Sleeping gas doesn’t exist.

Here is a comprehensive list:

I hope they go undefeated and score 1,000 points per game. I hope they melt the arenas in which they play because they make the ball move so beautifully, and so quickly, that the air becomes super-heated with the vigorous masturbation of the assembled angelic hosts of heaven. I hope Kevin Durant, Steph Curry, Klay…

Yeah, pretty sure that’s the joke.

+1 U-Haul fleet.

I just don’t know that the Oklahoma City Sonics get to pull this card.

How dare he betray the city who drafted him.

Ketchup enhances a dog’s flavor. Mustard only masks it, and mayo is just lubricant.

Fucking Chicagoites and their anti-ketchup cult.

Ketchup on a hot dog is fantastic. If you had said mayo I would have understood your frustration.

Do you also love kicking puppies?

Well, I’m not going to fight 2 billion soccer fans about whether it’s a sport or not. You do it, I’ll wait here.

Counterpoint: PKs is fine.

“I couldn’t be more loosened up”

Is it ok to genuinely like anything anymore? Dude is a handful-of-times-in-a-generation talent who had one of the best offensive seasons in NBA history last year and gave probably the most heartfelt MVP speech in American sports history. Who the fuck is worthy of our admiration in contrast? Please do tell.

This is an accurate description of the process.