“As a doctor...”

A list of people that I would reach out to for advice before Gwyneth Paltrow, (in no order):

• Ben Affleck asked ex-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow for advice.

You would think with Aniston’s love life in the rags every week I’d get to see more of this mug, and yet I don’t.

All I can say is hats off to Jessica Biel for hiring 2 gay male nannies. That is EXACTLY what I would do if I needed nanny services.

Good things come in pink boxes.

This is one of the the only celebrity couples I’ve ever cared about. :(

may or may not have walked down the aisle at my wedding to a friend playing "Glycerine" on guitar.

I was always pretty hesitant to give my kids Cap’n Crunch. Because really, that shit is DELICIOUS and I didn’t like having to share.

Right? I had the exact same reaction. Popped over to their website real quick to learn that their name used to be the less-misleading Morality In Media, which I assume they changed from the even-less-misleading Prudie Pruderson and the Prudes.

i will ALWAYS love that cosmo is the same fucking magazine every month. same sex tips, same shopping tips, same quiz, same vague nod toward bizniz and career, a dry interview with a female celeb, one almost-legit article on SOMETHING that’s caught the public attention, a snippit from a romance novel. end.

Just polling well among GOP voters. Who have proven that they are actually disgusting.

Same. I think the hairs on the back of my neck may have literally stood up. She is EVIL.

No such thing as a bad Psych gif

Have you ever tried pouring water into your cheerios?

I’m kind of fond of cashew milk lately, but it’s getting harder to find. Probably wasn’t that great of a seller, which is unfortunate.

I know this is completely besides the point, but can we please stop calling this asshole war machine?? Seriously... Let’s call this asshole by his name. Jon Koppenhaver is an abusive, psychotic, pathetic asshole. War Machine is a comic book superhero.

I don’t think ANYONE should feel comfortable with the idea of this engine of destruction (oh, sorry, “War Machine”) getting out of jail in 2-5. Not Christy Mack, not the prosecutors, not the American public, not anyone.

I hope the book gets thrown at “War Machine”. For him to claim that his vicious attack on Christy Mack only deserved a simple “domestic violence battery” charge and show no remorse shows he doesn’t feel he did anything wrong and that he’s the real victim.

Damn! It’s one thing to fall behind Sudan, but Mississippi?!