Saw the article header here on Jezebel, eyebrows went up as my curiosity spiked. Read the 1st graf, then the 2nd, and then slowed down a bit, certain I'd missed some vital sentence in graf 3 by then. "So, wait, the pants-crapper is actually this dude? Then where did they mention his costume, or somesuch? Nooo, no…

I figured out the other creepy thing! Her face takes up her whole face, whereas his face is scrunched up in the middle.

this also describes the chewy sweetarts in the bag at the movies, college sex, and pretty much all fast food.

Those lyrics are fascinatingly portable to these facts. The folly of man: FLATZILLA.

• It was fucking gross.

I like how the cat then sets up under the car, waiting for a counterattack, plotting a defense. Then escorts the kid and mom to the house. Theres some military training there.

uh-uh don't ever underestimate the random corn field. You're on your way to get coffee and BOOM corn as far as you can see! Wtf right?

I could not get through 'Metamorphosis. Something bugged me about the main character.

Isn't it e.e. cummings?

Always wanted to work as an embalmer. Not a fan of working with the living.

OH GOD I'm a paramedic (during summer break) for 16 years and counting and I swear to you nobody ever asks me "what's the greatest thing you've ever seen?" No. It's always "what is the worst thing you've ever seen." And then I hate myself for hating them.

Or that is a question he gets way to often, asked in a jokingly way that is totally not meant to offend.

Ahhh, menfolk. Wearing our sexual fantasies on our sleeves for the last 10,000 years or so. One of the more prominent fantasies I have run across is guys wanting to sleep with women who have some kind of sexual "deviancy". I put deviancy in quotes not to be a judgmental prick, but to illustrate what some men…

Don't worry, they'll find you.

I am in an organization called The Spinsters of San Francisco. Really. Look them up. We do charity work. It's amazing—changing my life.

You and me both, sister.

What if you're just not ready for marriage by the time you hit your early twenties? That was my thing. And ten years later, I'm still not ready. And this douchebag bitch isn't going to guilt me into feeling bad about it. Why would I get married when no part of me feels capable or receptive of it?

Right?

Yes. We locals call it "Pennsyltucky." Philly, the NJ border area and Pittsburg are the only things keeping that place from full on deliverance.

"My favorite part was when they tied the guy up and whipped him."