I don't know about you, but my baculum brings all the other animals to the yard.

Sharing is caring... Tom blows captain hepatitis out of the water

I respect your personal views on sexy men, and I'm sure he's very nice and charming and fun, but whenever I look at him I can only see one thing:

In response he probably acts all bored and melancholy.

Every kiss will begin with Kay if they make a necklace that IS shaped like the Lochness monster and somebody gives it to me.

Hey! You kids get off my Forest Lawn!

OMG I can't stop picturing Jesus with the best look of disgust on his face ever going "Did I fucking stutter?!!"

Let's all ask the Today show to invite Simone Jhingoor back to talk about the Women's Housing and Economic Development Corporation. In no uncertain terms! It's easy, there's a contact form at: http://www.today.com/id/29041920/ns…

Come on man in dark suit with red tie, you can do better than that....great video.

AW YEAH... I used to live/work in Wayne County! I know where this is! It's in the middle of seriously-god-foresaken-awful middle of nowhere. The only way I could describe it to others was "If you drive 1.5 hours east of Raleigh and fall asleep at the wheel because you are freaking bored as shit because you're not at…

DUDES. Most of the women you are acquainted with in your lives whom you find attractive are wearing some degree of makeup. Even when you think they are not. I—like Tyra Banks or Ellen Page or Adele or Megan Fox or Halle Berry—look dramatically different when I am bare-faced in comparison to when I'm wearing minimal…

can you point out to him that if he hates your makeup, and you wear it anyway, then it obviously isn't about pleasing men?

Sweet dreams are made of cheese - who am I to dis a Brie?

Benedict Cumberbatch is what it would look like if one alien described humans to a blind alien, and then the blind alien made a wax figure from that description.

That is some unsettling "House of Leaves" shit right there.

Audrey. Of course she owned a flower shop.

Am I the only one equally annoyed by the "My Perfect Boyfriend" squad? He made me THIS candlelit dinner, and then brought me THAT vegan dessert, and then told me this and did that... and on and on.

I'm going to go over to this corner now and die alone. kthnxbye.

She has such gorgeous crows feet. You can tell she smiles a lot, which always means WAY more to me than how old someone is. I think they make women and men look more adorable, personally.

Ohhhhh that's a mouse! I just thought he had dumb hair and I was hating all the more.