This is why I love driving the hearse at work— no one tailgates, cuts me off, or tries to flirt. It's glorious and I experience far less rageyness and harassment from other drivers than when I'm in my own car (even though I'm more likely to be an asshole driver in the hearse since it's got bigger blind spots and…

My disinterest in weddings is so strong that this tag has completely claimed my attention each time I try to look at the header pic. I want to tug at that errant thread and remove the label for this poor groom.

Ah, so that's a pearl embellishment at the temple?

I spent far too much time trying to decide between this one and the sassy little burgundy touque-ish number in the blue column. This one has more of that pilgrim style that would look so coordinated and classy with all of my buckle-adorned shoes.

I have GOT to learn how to make a high bun look that amazing on me. I have shoulder-length hair and bangs, and I prefer to have my hair up for work so it doesn't get in the way. However, regular buns look like stupid little knobs jutting from the back of my head and I end up looking too severe from the front. That…

In Germany, first you get the Nutella. Then you get the power. Then you get the women.

Haha, my parents were careful not to swear around me when I was a wee little one. So my grandmother picked up the slack and taught me how to weave magical verbal tapestries of filth and vulgarity. I owe a great deal of my vocabulary to dear old Grandma.

Too true. My entire childhood was spent trying to convince people that my mom was actually my mom and not my nanny. Both of my parents are caucasian, but my dad is of Norwegian descent, and I got all of his coloring and most of his facial features, while my mom is of French Canadian descent, so she's considerably…

That's such an excellent and important idea! My mom and stepdad grow their own veggies and freeze the bounty so they can enjoy fresh, homegrown goodies all year round, so I fully appreciate your dream job. Is there a way to ease into your desired career? I knew some people at my old call center job who worked full…

Funeral service. Kind of funny that I went from utter misery at a call center to emotional roller coasters at a funeral home, but this career combines almost all of my life-long loves and skills and is challenging enough that I don't feel as though my brain has atrophied by the end of the day. Being able to help…

I used to work a job with pretty competitive wages and astronomical annual bonuses (yup, plural), but it was so opposite from my interests and so devoid of personal meaning that I was MISERABLE. By miserable I mean I'd regularly pray my little compact car (and my little depressed self) would get demolished by an…

Happy! After a stressful semester in which I've battled depression, feelings of isolation, and anxiety, I just found out that I've been chosen as the recipient of my department's highest award at graduation! I'm beyond stunned and so flattered that of all of my classmates and colleagues, the department head thought…

Both the Lush Lip Tints and Lip Shines by Bite Beauty are worth every penny (their Whipped Cherry Lip Scrub is pretty delightful, too). I also have no qualms about spending beaucoup bucks on items from the Ole Henriksen skin care line— I've found the better your skin care regimen, the less need you have for…

I hate how long it took me to interpret that first sentence in the Jenner sisters quote box. I'm just going to say I spent far too much time wondering who the hell Count Kendall was, how/why he was associated with Kylie, and why he was voicing an opinion on Kim Kardashian's weight when surely there were more pressing…

Smirnoff is pretty gross as it is (vodka's my first love, but Smirnoff is that asshole ex that I wish just would just stop existing), but the marshmallow Pinnacle vodka is delightful (they also have a whipped cream flavor). I drink it straight as I do most vodkas, but it's pretty good mixed in with Dr. Pepper or…

I'll have to think about that. It's not a problem for me because of my job— I'm a student embalmer/funeral director (appropriate?), so now (and even more so when I'm done with school) I tend to be on call nights and weekends. So if I don't answer my phone X number of times in a row, they're gonna know something's up…

I adore you. I'm totally okay with the idea of my cat nibbling on me when I'm dead. In fact, I think it's hilarious when I wake up to her taking very careful "test bites" on my upper arm because she always looks so scandalized at being caught in the act of trying to have me for breakfast. But I especially love the…

Hah, that's rather dreary news for asexuals like me who don't much care for physical contact. I wonder if oxytocin is released when I begrudgingly hug a friend or if you have to, like, mean it when you hug. ; )

Too true— people rarely believe me when I tell them my weight. I'm 5'3" and about 137, but I'm not overweight. My belly's a tad softer than it used to be, sure, but I have a fair amount of muscle weight. Per this discussion, I'm not much taller than KK and right around her implied weight, but in the linked Page Six…

Damn. And here I thought I had a pretty awesome day because I found dinosaur Dixie cups hiding in a podium at school today. Not even lying. I'm pretty chuffed right now to be the proud owner of a little paper cup featuring both a Tyrannosaurus rex AND a pterodactyl. But this little girl's discovery is awesome; I…