You don’t actually know what the rules are anymore, and you have a sense that maybe there are other people much younger than you who do know what the rules are, and are thereby make billions by inventing, what, Snapchat?

Boston Dynamics forgot to lock up...

“Obsolete. Drag Earth to Trash Bin.”

Dissident zombie hunger strike delays apocalypse.

“Trumpbot to mothership: mission proceeding successfully.”

“ANTEpreemptive RE-revenge?”

“Control... I found it... She’s beautiful...”

time loop ! I can’t stop this...

Autopsy revealed blue screen of death.

Light snuffed; Space cold. Cthulhu grins.

The Teleporter worked, but only sorta.

The egg opened, birthing a universe.

Welcome. He won me over by being really, really good at his chosen profession.

And laughter. It has lots of laughter!!

I mean, okay, it’s tacky and a little ugly... but it’s better than anything I could ever knit. That shit has heart.

You are a wise soul and you speak truth to Shower.

This assumes that I’m taking showers solely to get clean. Showers are great! Baths are great! Hot water and singing along to my favorite Whitney Houston jams and occasionally even drinking a beer—GREAT!

from A Guy. You probably know someone who knows someone who has A Guy. Heck, your weed guy probably knows A Guy too. Those Guys are everywhere.

“an LSD-like drug” called Aquarust