I stopped fucking a dude because of that train.

I love this show so much. It always just makes me so happy. I can’t think of any times that they’ve made a legitimately offensive joke, and it has none of the abuse and neglect that are toted as “funny” by other cartoon family shows. I recall an interview or analysis (can’t remember which) pointing out how humanized…

I accept this reality and adopt it as my own.

I don’t have access to mine right now, but I do have a story!!!

Anyone who graduated in the 80’s has a massively unfair advantage here.

I... no...

Nope. Best practices for suicide reporting recommend not using “committed,” which sounds like a crime or, to religious communities, like a sin, and “kill yourself” is just insensitive, crude, and poorly phrased. “Died by suicide” is the phrasing recommended by mental health professionals and the American Foundation…

Didn’t Missy Elliot specifically instruct us to “flip it and reverse it”?

But look, this sentence happened, and we can’t not address it:

I never realized how much they look like these. Maybe the trick is to stop storing them in the freezer.

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

This isn’t very nice but whatever.

This was definitely a headline that gave me a major doubletake for a few seconds. Then I said “awwww” and all was right with the world.

brb never sleeping ever again

I can only sleep on a bed made of whipped cream, so I get it.

I’m laughing right now, because if I don’t, I will kill myself with the pizza wheel I just found in our bedroom for some reason (why?).

And she still didn’t see this coming.

This one looks kind of cool, though.