reminds me of an ad looking for egg donations in my college's paper back in the day - $100,000 for a donor who has perfect SAT scores, plays college sports, and is over 5'9 with blond hair. I always hoped that couple ended up with a short brunette who hated sports and flunked out of calculus.

"I have no idea [what my IQ is]. People who boast about their IQ are losers." - Stephen Hawking

This. I know a number of certifiable geniuses but none of them are actually certified by Mensa because none of them are certifiable narcissists.

I can't handle the fact that so many people who are allegedly geniuses are behaving as though IQ is some sort of reliable metric for measuring anything other than, well, IQ.

Ugh. That baby's hundred-meter splits are way better than mine.

HER BELLY IS SHOWING!!! OH NO WHERE ARE THE PLANET FITNESS PREGNANT LADY CLOTHING POLICE!??

It's my way til payday...

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!

He has millions and millions of attorneys? Then why is it so hard for young lawyers to find a job?

How could they miss that Neighbors is a scathing inditement of North and South Korean relations? Zach Efron's fun loving frat boy is clearly a metaphor for South Korea.

<3 Thank you for the pretty pictures! I grew up in the 1970s, and basketball players all had mile-long legs that you could actually SEE. That was what basketball was, a bunch of beautiful limbs tossing something back and forth until a clock ran out.

Ladies and gentlemen, I humbly offer you - the rowing uniform.

Human equivalent of getting very competitive during a casual game of pool volleyball Adam Levine has...

o

It's because of the goddamn hover queens that there is piss on the seat to begin with!

I would love to have three or four kids, I prefer a big family. I don't know why people care or act like its disguisting to have to kids, especially women who act like that.

I vacation in French Montana, such nice beaches.

It's exactly what she needs. If she's bi-polar as the media says, stability in her life is essential. The ability to take medication on a regular basis and not have upsets in your day or week or month that throw you off of that is very important. She's able to make a lot of money for her family while not taking huge…

I love Britney Spears. I want to have a sleepover with her and drink some tea.