Well, assault, battery, and criminal charges are kinda par for the course with NFL players. An openly gay guy is NEW!

Right. So you go on Deadspin instead. Really raising the bar there.

Nobody wants to see him kissing some random dude. They want to see him kissing Rodgers or Brady.

"I mean, it was a pretty controversial moment. An interracial couple?!? Wow, no thanks!"

I love that she held her boobs. I would totally have to do that, too.

My parents were assholes and said many things to me, I now have three kids and you can bet your ass I have never ever said anything of these things to them.

Remember the obituary written by the daughter of the world's worst mother that went viral a few months ago? Remember how we all expressed sympathy for her poor, traumatized children? Apparently if that mother had written about her hatred for her children on Whisper, we would all be hooting and saying "You go…

Dear Mom,

I read this and came away thinking that my mom owes ME an apology. Because she treated me like shit. All of those confessions are things I felt and heard implicitly and explicitly from my mom. I NEVER want kids. The way I was treated as a kid is a big reason why.

Pollyanna here! I love my kids. They probably saved my life. I was a hard-partying girl, but I always knew I wanted kids. They forced me to settle down and be a responsible adult. It was hard to admit to my super-feminist mom that the only thing I really wanted to do was be a Mom.

The "I hate my son" one isn't funny at all; it's heartbreaking. And the "I regret having them every single day" one, over the beautiful photo of those adorable little boys, is incredibly sad as well. In fact, I find most of these more sad than funny. I think these women must be in a lot of pain to put these posts up…

or Smaug?

I think it's difficult for most people to admit their ignorance the way that Kim Kardashian has with regard to racism. I don't understand the instinct to mock someone for this. Thinking that these issues are everyone else's problem is not actually that uncommon, especially for this generation. So good for her for…

I won't argue that her stomach looks attractive, but I think it's disingenuous to praise people's dramatic weight loss while hiding what a body that's lost that amount of weight actually looks like.

The actually don't mind the zipper aspect. Have you every tried to corral Double DDs into amor? A zipper upfront would help.

Yeah, both of the direct quotes from her are obviously sarcastic. It's good to know that she at least has a bit of a sense of humor about being famous because of her boobs!!

Kate and I are built in very similar ways. (Except not because I'm obviously not a SI model.) it's annoying to be all boobs and no ass/hips/waist. I'm not feeling sorry for her (or myself) but I think she was joking. She obviously knows she has no ass.

The good thing about Xavier is that your baby can make people trust him.

Wisconsinites love their state. I miss Wisconsin.