Oh for fuck's sake. Don Draper is basically my dad at this point and I know how that story ends.

I lost 60 pounds and saw my salary double over a few years. It's disgusting.

This is brutal, but I'm suprised she even got the gig in the first place. Also, if that's the worst she got, she got off easy. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS RIGHT.

Are you drunk? I hope you're okay.

This happened to my friend's mom prior to Roe v. Wade. Not exactly the same thing, but the fetus was dead and she had to carry it for three weeks.

YESSS. Bring me all the art direction, costume design and fluff.

+1, I'll bring the Cab Sav.

I don't care. The costuming. Omg.

The comments on this story are why I'm pretty much done with Jezebel. Yes, Sarah Silverman is privileged, but she also grew up being called a hairy Jew monkey. We all have our own shit. We all have nuances and shades of grey and it's not always about getting on your fucking soapbox. Sarah Silverman is fucking funny…

I'm sorry, big gray bush is fucking funny. And mine's like half.

Omg crawl back in your vagina.

I'm ok with making Paris Hilton cry.

Can you please tell that joke? It sounds amazing.

Well, the roastee makes around 100k for their time (per Joan Rivers on the Stern show), so don't feel that bad.

It's pretty clear she loathes her career and is drugged to a "dead behind the eyes" point to keep the investors happy. Fun song.

Oh yeah elliptical machine, we're gonna work it out.

Yep. It's totally irrelevant that she's singing, I guess? But other crappy singers don't seem to be able to bring it the way Brit can. I will enjoy elliptical-ing to this.

That is brutally depressing. When people come to visit me in Manhattan and want to eat at the Olive Garden on Times Square I get super sad.

Totally fair, but I don't live there or have a six year old. I get it from your perspective, it makes lots of sense. I just...I had a coworker who planed a two week trip around five days there. No kids. First European trip. That, I do not get. But I spend my time in your city face deep in croissant and pressed duck.

No offense to Disney enthusiasts, but if I'm in Paris, I'm not going to fucking Disneyland. That sounds horrible.