You saw Disney prince dongs because you clicked on a post titled DISNEY DUDES DICKS. That is in no way comparable to seeing violent rape gifs posted randomly in the comments section.

DISSENTING OPINION: I remain convinced Gaston is one of those dudes with a tragically enormous dick, who thinks that his huge schlong means he has to do zero work in the sack. He just bumps your cervix for five minutes then rolls over and congratulates himself for being such a superior cocksman.

This post does not in any way lessen my crush on Aladdin, is all I'm saying.

I'll take Kristoff, give me short but thick over long and skinny any day on the week... and twice on Sundays (because I'm a good Catholic boy).

Yes, we will do that on the same day that anyone gives a shit about what you think.

No one's slick as Gaston

I wish he would nominate a pair of suspenders, some consequences, and a tattoo removal appointment. But he's not acquainted with those things either.

Maybe because its Monday. Maybe its because I've finally switched over to full cups of Decaf in my 21st week of pregnancy and hate everything: But I wish that bucket had a few rusty nails in it.

Doesn't he have a Prime Minister or a Queen he could nominate instead?

I was walking into Walmart via the Garden entrance this afternoon and I stopped for a Dad with three bags in his hands. Following him were 4 little girls in flip-flops, puffy shirts, and what looked like hula skirts. They were all between 3 and 5. Very adorable.

I'm tired of being into guys who seem to be looking for someone to worship them. I'm never going to be someone suited to that role, and I'm plenty happy about not being that person. It's still incredibly frustrating. Especially as my friend group has, in a very short period of time, gone from mostly singles to almost…

I know a lot of us, particularly those of us who suffer from depression, had a very tough week last week. I have a feeling that next week will be better—I mean, it has to be, right?

Hey guys :) I haven't been very active on here this week, it's been so sad and crazy I couldn't really find it in me to have much to say. I hope everyone is doing well.

Ok, not sure if anyone will see this, but: I'm moving to DC in a few days! Yay! But I am coming from overseas and I'm nervous to be in a city that I've never been to before and where I know no one. DC people, please reassure me that it's a great place to live and I'm not making a really bad decision?

Maybe it was a kinja reference. Nobody wants to be compared to kinja.

And I feel like I heard about it over a year ago.

"Motherfuckin nigga". Sigh, white people.

Is "mother chucking ninja" code for something horrible? It's a weird thing to call someone, but it also seems weird to be mad over it. I mean, I assume "chucking" is a cleaned up version of "fucking" but that is pretty innocuous, all things considered.

WE MADE IT, EVERYBODY!
it's been a shit-tacular week, personally and universally, and my next day off isn't until Wednesday.

but i decided to say FUCK IT. yes, i have to wake up at 4 am to work the breakfast/brunch shift at a crazy popular restaurant. but i don't care - i think i deserve a fun night to myself, don't you?

…

I thank my lucky stars every day that I landed a gem of a boyfriend. I'm a total bitch the first day of my period, get emotional and bloated, and have terrible cramps and backaches. I'm a monster. The moment I turn to him and say, "It has begun", he disappears ad comes back with tea, yoga pants, and a heating pad and…