Can Jenny McCarthy just go away forever already? I'm so bored of her stupid shit. We need an island, where her and all the other anti-vaxers can go and infect their own kind.

I demand respect for the cardigahn! RESPEK! Presenting Lemon Breeland from Hart of Dixie. She turns this lemon cardie business into lemonade.

I had this happen once, too. We had been dating casually for a few weeks, and he was, uh... really good at all kinds of sex things that can be done with a guy's pants still on, but we hadn't actually had PIV sex yet.

Eventually we got down to it and he had turned most of the lights off, and I still actually hadn't seen…

I was dating this guy, and I was attracted to him on an intellectual level because he was so creative, but the physical attraction wasn't very high. He was kind of an awkward lover - if we switched from me on top to him on top, instead of rolling over, he'd stand up on the bed while I laid down. And not only would he…

Does it count if his P didn't go in my V? Hooking up in the back of a Pontiac Vibe, because I am nothing if not classy. Things were heading in the sex direction, so I reach for his fly. He warns me that he "isn't prepared" and "didn't think this was going to happen." I reassure him that it's fine, assuming he…

I was on a third date with a guy we'll call Joe. I hadn't had sex for a while and had offered on previous dates, but he wanted to wait, so I respected that. We go to the house that Joe is housesitting at for friends and start making out in the bedroom. I rip all of my clothes off in one smooth motion, tossing them to…

Oh, gawd. So many stories.

This one time... I had been seeing this guy named Terrence. We were both from Boston (live in Los Angeles), had a lot in common, and he was super cute and nice and all that. He had luscious lips and was a fantastic kisser, but I was trying to hold out on fucking him for a little while because…

Both times with the same girlfriend. She let one slip while doing the old 69 right in my face. I couldn't stop laughing. End of sex.

Also, cool t-shirts under the blazer. That is my go-to. Extra casual, add jeans. Voi la!

The trick to casual blazers is rolling up the sleeves.

You're kind of making me rethink my cardigan collection right now.

I... I don't get it...

Me too! Some of them never even told me their names, they just turned the corner at the next street and ended our relationship...

Odd because her words and attitude make me think she sees those adjectives as badges of pride and strength as they should be.

I mean, really. Having to choose between cat pictures and that prize?

Dear arsehole, please note that English comes from England, and British accents are proper phonetic speech, and when you've finished noting that, shove your list up your arse.

All these lists do is make me happy that I am married to a normal human being. I was really annoyed that the house was a mess but fuck it— I don't have to date dickweeds like this guy. I had two home births by the way.

This is so weird. One of my deal breakers is a person having a list of super specific things that have nothing to do with genuine compatibility.

What?!?! No Vanity licence plates?! How can I tell people 1LVB1GD1KS

So basically the surgeons approached this circumcision the same way I approach cutting my own bangs: