You weren’t too young for them to exploit you and your work and fuck you over!

Every SNL episode I’ve watched has been a few sketches ranging from smirk to giggle to guffaw and then a lot of zzzzzzz in between. Even the early years, even the in the 90s-early 2000s.

This was my read as well. I once was let go from a receptionist gig on day 87 of the 90-day trial period. My weekly reviews had been exemplary until it came time to bring me on permanent for $2 more an hour and health insurance, when on day 87, I apparently gave the company Prez a dirty look (I didn’t even see him…

Oh, do I hear you with the hair!! I had the audacity to chop all my hair off when I was 19 and my mom damn near disowned me.

“You need to bleach your mustache. You’re starting to look like the Osco lady”. - My Mom to me in my teens

A dude once gave me a mix CD with “Your Body is a Wonderland” on it. Fuck off, Jimmy.

Same here. I also unfollowed a couple of our mutual friends so they don’t pop up in my feed, potentially bringing mentions of him along. I am still FB friends with them, so if I really want, I can see what’s new in their lives, but I generally don’t because like most people on FB I’m a self-absorbed asshole.

I don’t plan on getting married unless my SO has his heart set on it. If I do, I’m absolutely making each bride I’ve had to maid for settle up. Except for one bitch who I no longer consider a friend BECAUSE she was such a hellacious Bridezilla. Instead, maybe I’ll send her an invoice just to be a dick.

A good friend of mine, a Marxist scholar and active in our local Communist party has been warning for years about the rise of Fascism and all the trappings, some of which we’re seeing the call for right now. She’s brilliant, so I’ve never fully brushed off her warnings, but still I’m shocked by what is unfolding. The…

I don’t know...if the shoe fits? I worked at a womens issues-focused nonprofit that employed all women, and I often joked/vented to my friends that it felt like a cross between The Devil Wears Prada and Mean Girls, except with non-stylish clothes and middle aged women.

My ex and I had a relationship that sounds like it was similar to yours. Unfortunately it didn’t work out for us, but for nearly 5 years we were very, very happy. And it didn’t work out due to a set of specific circumstances applicable to us, so our breakup is in no way meant as a comment on your relationship.

At morning recess in first grade I climbed to the top of the tire jungle gym on our school playground and was too afraid to climb back down. The bell to go back inside rang, and my friend left me stranded up there. I sat up there alone for what felt like an hour, but was maybe 5-10 minutes. Our school janitor was sent…

Declan is a very nice name that sounds lovely to the ears and it has become very popular. She liked the name Declan, but her snowflake needed to be euneek. Also see Maddaelynne and Alivieea.

I have problematic skin so I avoid face masks. Oddly enough though, I like to slather old school classic Noxzema cream on my face as a sorta mask from time to time. I leave it on 10 minutes or so, and it leaves my skin super soft and the cooling tingles help with my tired under-eyes. My late grandmother used to use…

I have problematic skin so I avoid face masks. Oddly enough though, I like to slather old school classic Noxzema…

When it was on, The Sing-Off was quite possibly my guiltiest pleasure of all time. Obviously, you don’t know me, but if you did you would understand how weird it is that I loved that show. My roommate caught me watching it one night and was dumbfounded when she realized I was actually not hatewatching. The season…

Yep! I know I have to work out, so I do, but I hate the way I feel at the gym, hate the exercise, hate feeling sweaty and sore, even hate talking about it. The only thing fitness-related that makes me feel good are sweatpants. And I only really like them when I am eating snacks on my couch, watching Netflix.

This is not surprising. People are assholes, myself included.

Aishwarya Rai and Vivien Leigh get my votes.