By two you mean 18, right?

God — you're a genius. We could be best friends. I'd let you keep beer in my house, no problem.

So, in the past two days I've read stories about a dude eating another dude's face, a guy disemboweling himself and throwing his organs at cops, and a porn actor mailing body parts to various organizations.

Coffee spewed. That's pretty much every dungeon I go in for inferno — screaming and everything. Look, he's even a witch doctor, carrying that mojo with pride.

I'll probably give it a shot, just to try it out. I mean, considering the amount of money Blizzard takes out per transaction, especially if you're linking with Paypal, there's no point. I love making 50 cents off of three hours of work. It's my lifelong dream.

So, we're assuming said dragon is banking solely on bite, correct? That strategy I can accept.

Now that looks intense.

Can't wait. Excited as hell. One problem, however — I feel like a dragon diving into a lake would, kind of, defeat the purpose, whether he was spitting fire, ice or that blood crap. Thoughts?

I think the point of this article is being mightily grazed over — talking about it being garbage and all that jazz. That's not fair.

The guy in the picture looks like he's mouthing "shit" because that's exactly what this is.

Seriously? Damn it. Here we go again.

I use to sit in the backseat of my parent's car, lean over and hold the Virtual Boy between my knees. Freaking Mario's Tennis never felt so gratifying.

I'm for the model. I think it brings a sense of continuity and understanding to the fantastical. However, I think using dwarves in the way they've been utilized is stupid. I mean, they don't always have to come from out of the ground, right? Dwemer, dwarves, technology, metalcasting — they've got other attributes,…

If by "this" you mean the most amazing fucking picture I'll see today, then yes. Just like that.

I agree, except that part about smaller MMOs creating more diversity — a small MMO defeats the purpose of a massively-multiplayer online role-playing game — but you're giving first-person shooters way too much clout. I love them to death, most of my games are FPS, but that doesn't make them NOT near carbon copies of…

Wait. Wait. Dwarves weren't overtly lazy to begin with? It's always been difficult for me to wrap my head around the idea that, more often than not, dwarves are born underground or like living underground or just generally enjoy doing life underground. Is the gravitational pull of the center of the planet causing them…

It's true. There are a slew of failed MMOs, as there are a slew of failed every-other-genre. There has never been one genre that has 100 percent succeeded with every release. It's impossible.

Shot coffee all over the place on that one. Well done.

Don't be ashamed. I loved Far Cry 2 — I loved it enough to start back from the beginning after my save data became corrupted, after I sank more than 70 hours into the campaign collecting stupidly annoying diamonds.

Pretty much spot on.