Weird story here.

What a waste of money. 30 grand could have put a couple of those sex dolls through college.

I don't think I could sit through this movie. I'll watch all kinds of gore and only flinch a little, but I'm a sympathy vomiter; I can't watch the vomit sequences in, say, Stand By Me or Monty Python's Meaning of Life without starting to gag uncontrollably. Everything else, I think I could handle, but not the puke.

At a listening party held in her Los Angeles home, Taylor Swift baked pumpkin chocolate chip cookies for her fans and let them hold her cat.

That newspaper thing tho.

A recent graduate who attended Hofstra at the same time as Kazantsev told Jezebel that the final two steps of pledging in one (unnamed) sorority involved making all of the pledges remove their underwear and sit on newspapers while the older members forced them to watch lesbian porn. Anyone whose newspaper stuck to…

CALLIE I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE ARIANA GRANDE'S PONYTAIL IS FAKE. NO. YOU CAN'T STEAL ANY MORE OF MY DREAMS FROM ME.

Oh cool...a gay man saying mansplainy misogynistic shit. Should I start ordering a hit with the Gay Illuminati? We don't want him, and we sure as hell don't want him speaking for us.

Post-partum poop gave the birth itself a run for the money. This is coming from someone who had a 4th degree episiotomy, hemorrhage and baby with the cord double wrapped and knotted around her neck. Pooping with a reconstructed vag and butthole after several days on percocet is not the most awesome thing at all. I…

Clay Aiken was actually outed by someone he'd sent pictures to and had cybersex with. I would have hoped for a bit more compassion.

He's like a bitchy gramma.

He needs to keep his prim bullshit fuckery away from my right fist, I can tell you that much.

He deserves to be publicly shamed for being an asshole.

Yes, let's discuss. I stood up for the first time after delivering my first, and blood just dropped out all over the floor. The nurse just stood there like it was my problem. Also, what about those giant underwear made out of nets that you put the big ass pads in?

my birth was fine. Can we talk the first post partum poop, which was far more terrifying than giving birth?

I'm sorry if this doesn't count because it's my mom's story of birthing me, but basically, my head was too big for my mama to push out so they had to use a goddamn vacuum. My head is still notoriously big as an adult. NO HATS FIT ME AND I THINK THE VACUUM MADE IT WORSE

I don't know if this is a horror story, but it's definitely the most embarrassing part.

So first: I don't think labor was a nightmare. I had a natural birth at a freestanding birth center. I did hypnosis. I had a doula who did all kinds of weird shit to get me through. I got to labor in a jacuzzi. It worked for me and…

All of my pooping and tearing happened at the hospital. I do however, remember crying at the doctor "I'M SO SORRY IT SMELLS LIKE POOP! IT JUST WONT STOP COMING OUT!" Luckily. we had this spray bottle of peppermint oil and water for 'aromatherapy' (didn't work for me but apparently it covered the smell of my poop,…

Humanity continues to disappoint me. Whoever thinks that it's cool to support a dude who literally beat a 4 year old so hard he went to the hospital is an absolute piece of shit person.