Dear god, it's like an Instagram filter applied to Anthropologie's Pinterest board. Zooey Deschanel must be so relieved that aggressively beige has come along and let aggressively twee off the hook.

TJ's is pretty spectacular, though.

Anticipating the "arrangements" as a mom-specific duty is, in large part, why I feel I should get two votes.

I might have slightly pissed my husband off years ago when I told him that since I will be gestating the fetus and breastfeeding it, all names will get final approval through me, and that I won't name a kid something I don't actually like for the sake of "tradition" or being polite. He gets it, but still. Tough pill…

We're like sentient flower pots. (Y'know, to hold and raise seeds? I liked it.)

We're having some domestic-responsibility battles with a backdrop of, "Hey, do we want kids and if so, when?" I am familiar with your observations.

I wanted to say something longer or more emphatic. When the in-laws (or, God forbid, my parents) say something about how he won't "let" me do something, I feel the overwhelming need to show everyone that, if I can conceive, carry, and deliver a baby ... allowing him to participate in naming it is a courtesy I'm…

I remember reading a book set in a matriarchal society where one character commented to a foreigner, "We trace lineage through the mother's side. One can never be certain who the father is." It was a throw-away line, but it's stuck with me for decades.

That being said, I kept my name when I got married because I'm…

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the network will handle it

Well, they have to toe the line somewhere...

She's knee deep already.

Hmmm... I'm not so sure. She seems to really take it on the shin.

I don't know, but it's going to cost an arm and a leg to fix.

Oh come on, this is so fake... that's why you never see her lower body in the shot. They're just trying to pull my leg with this shit.

Who’s going to foot the bill for the damages?

You keep insisting she's fucking someone else. Because a woman is always fucking someone. And if it isn't the man who is right there offering then it is someone else. It just couldn't be that the lazy sod she's married to has de-evolved into a lump who thinks foreplay consists of "hey, how 'bout it?" A woman/wife is…

Wait, wait, wait. A news host named Krystal Ball? *giggling* I'm a dick for laughing, but oh, that's good.

1. "Not many women can wear denim overalls, strappy Louboutin stilettos, and a Navajo-blanket poncho and get away with it, but Blake Lively can. "