Wow, that Vanessa Williams story is FUCKED. UP. It takes enormous courage to come forward about sexual abuse, and I really admire her for it.

DO YOU NOT WANT ME TO APPROVE OF YOU? DO YOU NOT WANT MY APPROVAL???

Um, did you just imply hippos are not graceful?

This is the Comcast cancel call equivalent in nightclub booking.

I am pretty sure whales are the apple shapes, and hippos are the pear shapes. I've always identified more with this hot babe here, myself.

Whales are graceful fatties, hippos are fatties with bad teeth.

What kind of miscreant would threaten Judy Blume's life? What ooze lagoon do you exist in where this would be a good idea? Oh yeah I'm pro life so I'll threaten the life of a children's book author, good thinking assholes.

Me too. LOVE her. Wish she got more press for how empowering she is. I once saw her speak at an event and she had us all in tears.

Mental cleansing thread:

That poor girl. We should have some organization that cares for people in these situations. Something like "here's all this money to help you get by the rest of your life and here are 10,000 people that have volunteered to hug you all at the same time and puppies."

I tried penis…

Do you know what "feign" means?

I'm just fed up with patriarchy today on so many kegels (yes, I'm fighting back by inserting random gynocentric words into everything I write).

Agreed, the grading system is on top this week. I was particularly pleased with:

GRADE: D (an alternate reality in which everything is exactly the same but you have all of Justin Bieber's tattoos, especially the one of the angry turnip)

Of course they do. They have the Twilight series and the 50 Shades books (all in hardback, natch) up on there. Maybe also some Danielle Steele and every single book Jodi Picoult ever wrote.