Dare I ask where he obtained a skunk carcass?

As if Mt. Poop wasn't enough to make this one legendary, you chose the most apt Dean Winchester face I've ever seen. I've been laughing/crying over this for the last twenty minutes, easy. Bravo!

Every time I think I can't be more disappointed by my home state, they pull something like this and manage to set new records for pure batshittery. Why I'm constantly surprised by how little this state cares about women, I'll never know. After all, this is the state that produced Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin, and…

I wish Snoop Dogg would surprise me once a week in the middle of a mundane activity and drop some freestyle beats on me that are relevant to what I'm doing at the moment, like using a pumice stone on my feet or something. Also, to give me weather updates. "You're gonna need that umbrella fo shizzle, it's about to…

I always got "anthropomorphic pile of garbage wearing sunglasses" vibes from Cee-Lo. I'm horrified/worried for every woman who's been with him, including the victim in this case. The fact that he seems to have worked out a fucked-up way to justify rape to himself makes me wonder if this isn't the first time.

All I got from that Blake Lively word-vomit (sorry, *finely-digested artisanal stomach chutney) was the mental image of Blake shooting up into the stratosphere, propelled by the rush of air from her rapidly-deflating butt, after accidentally leaning against a sharp counter edge.

"When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat."

I believe "monolithic tower of manhood" was penned by Ms. Perky, from 10 Things I Hate About You.

Lindsay Lohan and the Philosopher's Headache
Lindsay Lohan and the Chamber of Boners
Lindsay Lohan and the 14 Days of Prison
Lindsay Lohan and the Goblet of Vodka
Lindsay Lohan and the Order of the Court
Lindsay Lohan and the Half-Alive Career
Lindsay Lohan and the Deathly Shallows

For the record, I know I'm going to hell…

Right?? Byron was so intriguing that he inspired the first real paparazzi to hang out in boats around his lake house trying to see what shenanigans he was up to. Shelley was soggy porridge at best who seemed interesting because some of Byron's sexy vampire magic rubbed off on him by association. I would love to get…

Of the Byron/Keats/Shelley trifecta, Shelley was always my least favorite. At least Byron was honest about being a walking tryst-magnet and an indelicate asshole. Shelley always tried to couch his wrongdoings in romantic trappings so they seemed less shitty. He reminds me of modern dudes who project sensitivity and…

I AM SO FUCKING DOWN FOR THIS. I love Mary Shelley to pieces, and there are never enough stories told about her life imo. I want all the female-directed Mary Shelley things. (Also, I wouldn't mind someone like Robert Sheehan as Byron, discreetly peacock-strutting his way through the background once or twice with an…

I just finished the first book in the Outlander series and I'm really fucking annoyed by how much I enjoyed it. There were a couple of moments in the Claire/Jamie dynamic that I found it hard to stomach, and I did not like the fact that there were only two stated non-straight characters, one of whom was fucking evil…

Can we talk about the fact that before Nicki posted all of those weird manips from other people of her Anaconda cover, she posted a string of photos of white girls with their asses out on magazine covers and the like with "acceptable" in the caption, and her own photo with "UNACCEPTABLE" underneath? I love Nicki…

"We're driving in the car and of course I text and drive,"

#NotAllDogs

Sean Penn is personified water trash and I'm fucking terrified for Charlize/their potential child. Why everyone seems to have forgotten his horrible abusive behavior is beyond me. I guess the combination of being famous and being a dude is enough to throw an invisibility cloak over his shittiness??? Fuck this. Fuck…

Right? I can get most of my groceries there for half the price it would cost me at a larger chain store, and I'm addicted to their spanakopita and the organic cornflakes. And I can count on their produce to be leagues above any of the big grocery stores. AND I can get a whole bunch of groceries without traveling…

My last name is hyphenated; my shitty deadbeat father's surname combined with my mother's maiden name. I believe my mom wanted me to have both of their names so it was fair between them, which I like, but regardless of the sentiment I have ways hated my surname only because it has my father's in it. She says now that…