"Abortion or Hardee's" sounds like a really depressing new game show, possibly from the makers of Sex Box, but it's ultimately just a Hobson's Choice situation. It sounds like something that'd be quite hard to sell ad time on.

"Jah only knows what I'd be without you."

I think it has something to do with putting on your red shoes and dancing the blues to the songs they're playing on the radio. Which runs about $50 with a half and half in a back alley. And ,Jon Astley's involved at some point.

A cured meat product manufactured throughout the 1970s and 1980s and marketed as a healthier alternative to bacon.
Oh, I thought you said Sizzlean. Maybe you're thinking of the guy who made Doctor Zhivago?

If it does change any lives, it sure as hell won't be for the better.
"You see Timmy, it's good when 'The Other' dies, even if 'The Other' is a lot of non-combatants who just happened to live in a country that had a fucked up government at the time. That sort of thing could never happen to us, but if it ever did that…

Why, because of your colorful use of slurs, old boy!

An emotional Arthur Treacher's just leads to burns as the tears cause the hot grease to spatter.

Doesn't Tom Cruise drop by to eat that, or is that just a rumor started by various suppressive persons?

"Everything in this interview room has evolved to kill humans! Including this mimeograph machine we're inexplicably still using, even though it was rendered obsolete long before most of your target audience was born!"

Too much Snuggles-ing?

Hey, some days it's all Verne Troyer and elephant fucking. Those aren't the good days.

Nope, it's pronounced Mess-ay-joes.

Huh, turns out they were human after all. Who knew?

At this point Skar stormed out, but he may just have been late for his Arseface audition.

"Mother of Murthy, is this the end of Rico?"

"It's a long series of tubes…that fuck each other." - Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK) Ret.

Well, some of us are aware of the various ways it can be done, theoretically…

Quick, go back in time and get Uncle Tupelo to record a song that suggests she should return it!

And this all occurred while Trashcan Man was singing his Cibola song? Weird.

Just ask him about his role as a puppy in his father's movie "Pound", that should do the trick!