WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!

Either that or a very persistent booger that just doesn’t want to come off.

Oh good, the “I don’t experience this, so it must be a fake thing for the weak and overly sensitive” guy is here. Maybe explain why gaslighting isn’t real either while you’re here.

Putting Star Wars on shuffle, via the goofy and irreverent filter of the Lego brand, sounds like GOOD TIMES all around.

You son of a bitch, I’m in.

Time to get r/AITA on the case.

What a load.

If by some cosmic coincidence, you reached out for Forgetting Sarah Marshall (though you’re now looking over at that same shelf and realizing that Wayne’s World would’ve been an excellent choice as well)

I caught a little bit of the coverage last night and they were projecting the results in individual states based on 1-3% of the ballots being counted at the time. In some cases it was less than 1,000 votes total between the two candidates. Not a spread of 1,000 between them, but less than 1,000 votes tabulated between…

Remember kids: when Immortan Joe turns on the water for a brief moment, crowd around and catch as much of it as you can, and raise not your fist, nor voice, nor eye to his magnanimous form, for your very existence in this sand-blasted hellscape teeters precariously upon his whim. Rejoice and dance in his favor, or…

I like the cut of your jib.

You know, this list could have just as easily been your 6 favorite roles so far, thus saving us the pain of having to remember Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer is a thing that exists. Just saying.

At first I lol’d. Then I checked and saw that it’s actually genderless, so it’s not technically a mare. Then I took the stick out of my rear and lol’d some more.

Scooch over and make some room for the rest of us.

Somebody is gonna come forward to say they had “sinkhole full of rats” on their 2020 Bingo card. To that person I say - bullshit.

Have you secrets to trade?

We’re not out of the woods yet, unfortunately.

Fortunately, in those 120 seconds or so prior to when Tasty Hoon gets to loudly, deliberately scarfing up a bunch of fried chicken, we get a moment of internet absurdity bound to live on in infamy… for at least another couple of months.

Dibs on “Soundless Grief Pasta” as my next band name.

Looks like you accidentally re-used the first screenshot further down in your article. A minor nit-pick in an otherwise interesting and enjoyable read.