Last season, the Pick 4 teams ended up being pretty much the same, so I thought I'd take a stab at putting together a league. AFAIK, Disqus doesn't have PMs, so I've set up an email account at auto93994140626@hushmail.com . If you'd like to play, email an entry with a line for each contestant, with the following on…

" as if I actually had said time machine."
But… you didsay "time machine".

@avclub-6fe1e85f49aff7aaf3710a9707135ef8:disqus The existence of the term "adult dating site" does imply that there are child dating sites.

"(All spellings, like estimations of our nation's moral failings, are correct.)"
Is that the pluralization of "spelling is correct", in the incorrect belief that that is what "sic" stands for?

Have you heard ABBA's cover of Erasure's "Take a Chance on Me"? I thought it was pretty good. George Michaels' cover of Seether's "Careless Whispers", though, didn't impress me much.

"“Everything” is roughly what The Cure would’ve sounded like on the Breakfast Clubsoundtrack"

The impression that I got was that firstborn is male ("he's always been like that"), but Brainlock chose to refer to him as "it" to express contempt (and misspelled "its" as "it's"), but didn't bother making that clear, nor made it clear what the multitude of other pronouns referred to, making the account rather…

You passed out? Having blood flow problems?

In The Sopranos episode SOP, Tony had a no-nonsense way of dealing with this.

"I'm glad Bergner directed their answer"
Is Bergner a collective? Are you averse to using gender specific pronouns even when the person in question has been clearly introduced as being masculine?

I have the feeling that Dan chooses what tangent he wants to go off on, and then finds a letter that gives him the springboard. "Santorum said if we allow gay sex, we have to allow incest? Quick, find me a letter from someone fucking their sister!"

And of course, one of the excuses rapists give is that they thought they were dealing with such a woman.

@avclub-0e639653c10d1353dfbc8e4a14df280e:disqus That website has an ad for an "Adult Dating Community". Are there child dating communities?

The more unpleasant working for CFA is, the more they'll have to pay people to work there.

It would make more sense to boycott the sponsors of the Olympics.

Personally, I'm refusing to take any mail-order brides from Russia until they renounce their bigoted policies.

From one of the links "A representative for Savage…" Savage has representatives?

See, now that is the condensed version (and what did the letter look like before it was "condensed"?)

"Every time I do X, I get result Y. I don't like result Y. How can I prevent result Y from happening?"

@avclub-9ff7c9eb9d37f434db778f59178012da:disqus The nice thing about having an actual advice column, rather than answering questions in a comment thread, is that no has to see all the letters that you don't have an answer for.