I’m a fan of Cardale Jones:
HEAR IT FROM COWBOYS FANS!
OH MAN THIS REMINDS ME OF THIS ONE TIME IN COLLEGE WHERE WE WERE DOING FIREBALL SHOTS OUT OF PEOPLE’S POO-HOLES (ANUSES) AND SOME WISECRACK THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE EVERYONE LMAO TO SET ONE ON FIRE. WHEN I SAW THAT GAPING MAW OF FIRE, TEQUILA, AND A SMALL DINGLEBERRY I THOUGHT “NO WAY BUT THIS IS COLLEGE AND THERE IS NO…
The NBA playoffs, in theory if not always in practice, is the best postseason system in all of sports.
“Camps? I think he meant centers.” - Sean Spicer
I want the Pro Bowl to look like this. I’m not even joking.
Santa with your glutes so tight
Wow Billy! How’d you get all those presents this year?
Google’s translated version of the first graf from El Mundo:
So a dead guy comes back to life once he lands in a city called Phoenix, but somehow Christianity deserves the credit? Bullshit.
I fucking hate Steph Curry. Seeing him foul out and have that meltdown brought tears to my eyes. I really like pointing and laughing at Cleveland for no titles and very little hope, but seeing Draymond and Curry happy sounds worse to me than fucking a porcupine. Let’s go LeBron finish this bitch.
You know what the difference between Houston and an anus is?
You wanna know how to succeed in life? Quit giving people the satisfaction of your reaction. Treat everyone you meet with kindness no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Be the bigger person. People are going to be assholes and there is not one single solitary thing you can do about it except for controlling yourself…
FUCK STEPH CURRY. FUCK EVERYTHING. I WANT TO DIE.
To me, nude dining means sticking my dick in a Hot Pocket, so this is definitely a step up.
Hot shower, loosen everything, snot rocket. Aim for the floor and not the walls, you monster, and get it all rinsed down the drain.
Well, I hear ADHD is almost nonexistent at Hitler Schools.