Please make those glasses in real life and put them on her. Please. 

I decided one summer to become a “dank hippie” and to me that meant wearing shirts with double entendres printed on them from American Eagle and linen skirts from Old Navy and Birkenstocks every day. Pretty sure I missed the mark.

My fourth grade teacher apparently enjoyed a tipple. 

Sick horses who have diarrhea. Then after that they have to wash down the walls of the pig rendering plant.

The valedictorian at my high school graduation put the “dick” in valedictorian. He was a jackass. His speech went on at length saying essentially that none of the rest of us deserved to graduate because we didn’t work for it. I was shocked to be hearing it, and further shocked that some faculty member or administrator…

You go girl!

Here’s how you to respond to Mean Girl, and your message will show up in her regular messages because she requested you. (I tested it once.)

I know several women who lost their minds and their manners over their weddings...wonder how they will ever handle marriage, which is full of compromise and challenges...mine lastd 20+ years but every day was something...little things,giving in for peace, choosing battles etc. Living alone, even poor, is bliss for me.

i will say this about dark phoenix - of all the movies jennifer lawrence has ever been in, it is by far the most recent.

so, she’s both professionally and personally lazy?

At least they’ll learn what a real tan looks like!

The first time I read this headline I thought it meant she had *come out* and it almost ruined my Pride month

She plans to retire a ranch, where she can keep shoveling massive loads of horse shit.

I have a friend who used to manage a Starbucks in LA and she said Paula used to call at least twice a week trying to order Chinese food, so...

I had no idea she was this qualified to be President.

I will pay my life savings to hire Jonathan Frakes to go up to Biel, Timberlake and Kennedy to give a live performance of this: (prays that Frakes isn’t anti-vaxxer) 

I remember when my ex and I were still dating and living together. I worked a regular day job 8-5 and he worked weekends. He literally did SHIT all day, I mean nothing except get up at noon or later and fuck around until I got home then cook dinner (nothing fancy but he would cook dinner as long as I told him what to…

The trailer made me tear up, I can only imagine what the film’s going to do. He was such a bright star. Odd Thomas is one of my fave all time movies and it’s solely because of him.