DJ Khaled doesn't like going down on anything, and that includes the Billboard charts. 

As a frequent consumer of BBC shows, this is one of my favorite jokes in the whole series.

What a beauty! You must be so excited!

Legiterally made me guffaw!

Yay! Congrats! So glad you get to be reunited either your pup! 

I'm so happy for you and your beautiful pup! 

Shelter Cat Update!

“Why are these cowboys giving me funny pants feelings?”

This photo is taken right after two sentient slices of white bread slathered together with mayonnaise wished to be a real boy

I always refer to her wardrobe as Aunt Pittypat’s parlor fusnishings. I have long been of the belief her stylist hates her guts.

Is she going for Marlon Brando in The Island of Dr. Moreau or that one Cenobite from Hellraiser that looks like a cross between a thumb and a dick?

Lacob’s Splatter?

Woah.

I was thinking it was from the Bárte Sïmpsoné Collection.

I still can’t believe I’m older than Miller. It’s like looking at a family photo from the Dust Bowl and realizing the children are their kids, not their grandkids. 

I bet Ivanka hates it when he dances naked and tucked in front of a mirror and tell himself “I’d fuck me”

Yeah if there was anyone who would convince me there really are lizard aliens living in human hosts and plotting to take over the world, it would be Jared Kushner and his ever waxier complexion. And those dead, dead eyes. I have seen birds with more expressive eyes.

Ivanka, Kath definitely wore it better:

Macaulay “Macaulay Culkin” Culkin is an excellent internet weirdo, and will always win.