Alright my dudes!  I just made thick in the warm with that news.

One doesn’t rub unicorn cum on one’s temple. Unicorn cum is dripped directly in the eyes. Honestly, if the author is unfamiliar with her topics she should not be writing these articles.  What is this website, anyway?

I’ve been a supporter of Mr. Avenatti, but I take charges like these seriously. The jollies I get from watching Avenatti taunt the thin-skinned orange baby do not usurp my values and my decency. Therefore, I support a thorough investigation of these allegations followed by the appropriate course of action.

Amplifying Avenatti was always going to come around to bite liberals in the ass. The bar for admission into the resistance is so low it only requires a distaste for Trump. We forgot that those who seem a minuscule better are from similar depths of lowlife scum.

Rob,  your brother in law has some advice for you:

Of course he stole it.  Props to Lorde.

Pets! Show us your pets! This guys is named Fearless.

Sadly, he thought the answer to “___ and Mindy” was Mark.

I once helped The Rock finished a crossword puzzle in an airport lounge long ago. That man takes his crossword puzzles very seriously!

The Michelin Man singing “I Can’t Stand the Rain” in a wind tunnel.

In other news, they had the premier for Fantastic Beasts 2 and Ezra Miller wore this:

Parmesan cheese on the train. Great.

Show me your pets! The pet thread was wonderful last week, so I thought I would do it again.

If you’ve never seen the Jeff Goldblum episode of Hot Ones, I’m jealous. I wish I could experience it for the first time again. It’s so good we can shut Youtube down since it’ll never be better.

Clearly, given that there are so many royal tots now, she really should get an Old English Sheepdog.

Yes, it’s a bit infantilizing to say she’s “too young” to get married or be an adult at 25 or whatever, but ladies... all of us can do better than Pete Davidson. And all of us thought, when we were 25, that our Pete Davidson was different than other Pete Davidsons. He was not. He was Pete Davidson. We all needed to…

My god, the same woman was responsible for Greenbean Casserole AND Tuna Noodle Casserole.  Did she die of getting splashed with Holy Water because this shit is not of the Lord.

“She will be cremated with a topping of French’s crispy deef-fried onions” said one family member.

Does this concept include hitting her with a tube sock full of oranges or wet sand until she comes to these realizations?

Enough is enough. Call me politically incorrect if you want, but it’s time to do a little pre-emptive profiling: round up all crackers named “Dylan.”