It's almost as if being relieved of all his work responsibilities combined with already being financially set for life lifted some sort of weight off his chest!

We also would have accepted:

This is an insane statement. Matt Fucking Millen was your GM and you think THIS is dysfunction?

did you become a lions fan 2 years ago? they literally did the most dysfunctional thing a NFL team could do in 2008

God, I hate this team.

I kinda felt like the fact that I can still distinguish the good stuff from the other stuff meant I was safe. Of course, I also drank ShockTop Apple at 9:00 this morning, so that's another angle on it.

Hey telephones are a proud, courageous people who were here a long time before the internet took their land. We should celebrate them by misconstruing what words mean.

There are several layers here.

UVA Players: YO! SICK BURN, YO!

Let this be a warning to all adult NFL hecklers. Stick to the ESPN.com comment section if you want to keep your caps on.

Just to get out in front of anything that might happen during the game, league officials have stated that any player attempting a snow-related celebration will be flagged - and fined - for excessive Tauntaun.

"But it went way too far, and it wasn't very clear that it was a joke, that it was fabricated. If you read it, you might think that it was actually Tiger talking. The whole thing is completely ridiculous."

And now everyone is going in on RG3. Steve Young is going in... A radio station listener who won a contest to write for the local CBS station (this is something that happened) is going in... Fucking Pat White is going in!

Better angle, with slow-motion.

I would say you should never have a BAC higher than your batting average, but I firmly believe in Dan Uggla's right to have a single drink whenever he chooses.

I must have missed something. Does he play defense?

That's not just any tiny Bruins fan. That's Liam, an 8-year-old leukemia survivor with Down syndrome. He's the best. http://www.boston.com/sports/blogs/o…

When your name is as amazing as Ted Heater Jr. you can't be bothered to learn the names of mere mortals.

As a Jew, no, I will not. It's an ugly word but I will not pretend that it doesn't exist.

He says on a post about an 18-point basketball game played in October.