Are you sure that wasn’t what you called your own “Create-A-Move” finisher in those old N64 wrestling games?

A historic win for the French military team, traditionally they can't even muster up a try.

This will not get the love it deserves

If you want proof that it’s possible to get depressingly wasted by yourself and still play for the Browns, look no further than the guy RGIII is replacing.

“wait until you get a load of Bryce Harper Jr...”

What if your other option is signing on as the day manager at a Chili’s?

He already sat for two years! He’s not a fucking bottle of Merlot over there getting danker by sitting on a shelf, and you can't kill a career if you are unemployed.

I’m predicting he is benched earlier than week 9 for a failed drug test. He’s got too much Weeden in his system.

You act like he has lots of options. I don't think this was some bidding war. He's lucky not to be toiling away in the CFL with Manziel next year.

Actually this sounds amazing because Beltran doesn't have to suppress the fiery all-consuming rage when fast food places mess up your order (constantly)

Didn't you know? We’re all a little Maddon here.

Long drives and video games.

Yeah I at some point had to abandon the idea that “I just dip at night as part of my routine to relieve stress” and start thinking “hmm it’s been 5 years of this and I’ve gone from 1 to 3 tins a week. Maybe I should just cut it out.”

It would take a $100 million dollar award to put a denton in that kind of poverty, so in the meantime, continue to gawk away.

I think Heyward might wear one of those too, so two guys in one lineup. I would use one too, assuming it doesn’t mess with your vision.

Maybe stop trying the “chuck the ball off the defender so it goes out of bounds” and just lob the ball all way down to your end of the court so at least a turnover doesn’t result in a dunk less than two seconds later.

I stopped reading at “Destiny has a good story.” It is literally the same grind for loot type style as the Division, but I like the realistic world of the Division and its story waaaaay better. No silly robot Dinklage blabbing about The Cemetery of the Universe and all the other overwrought garbage.

This is what happens when you threaten the top brass.

Sounds like this girl really didn't know Jack

I got rear ended by an old lady while I was at a dead stop, and she had an air cast on her right leg and foot that was supposed to be working the gas/brake and it caused me to hit the car in front of me. I was given a ticket, appeared in court, and was found guilty by the judge despite my arguments. Sounds like I…