Isn't there a ambiguously ethnic cashier you should be chewing out somewhere?

Which would make sense of curry needed to be open AND in the lane to get his buckets, but there’s another 30 foot circle outside the paint where “leaving him open” equals points.

Yeah I mean as a Cubs fan I've just come to expect that young promising players will (1) take less money to play here and (2) will continue to improve once they are here, because historically......aww farts, DONT FUCK THIS UP EPSTEIN!

That’s because when the commentator asked if he thought he had an eating disorder, Sandoval replied “Yea, I can’t stop eating disorder of bacon cheese fries from Bodega’s three times a day.”

This is the correct take +1

Then one of the girls accidentally catches an elbow and breaks her nose and today’s Deadspin article is calling for the Jags to cut Fowler.

Bartolo Colon teaches a daily class to his teammates on the devastating effects of global warming from the perspective of Southern California coastal microclimates.

“If you had to discreetly sling a hammock in a public park to sleep, and didn’t want the cops to find you, where would you do it?” - Jim Tomsula

its almost as if you agree to spar a professional boxer, he might punch you in the face. Hard.

My 68 year old father is currently road tripping 16 hours to go snowmobiling in Colorado after crushing two vertebrate in a car wreck 15 years ago (anecdotal, but whatever). But yeah, I desperately want to avoid back problems because they just seem to stay with guys forever.

Front seat, leaned way back, that's the way I like rehab.

Tiger’s agent has been pulling the strings behind the scenes for years, but now that duty will officially fall to Tiger’s new Head Puppeteer.

This 1,000 times. I’m too lazy to write my own reply, but you gotta love these armchair lawyers.

Has Dr. Luke been found guilty of any criminal charges related to this abuse? Eff the contract. Although, if he was criminally tried and found not guilty, that would be a major omission in the article that would have obviously played into the Judge’s reasoning.

And Channing Stribling can't even charge this millionaire for exploiting his image and likeness, thanks NCAA.

My favorite is the Len Bias, which states that white sportscasters are much more likely to heap praise upon black athletes once those athletes have died tragically.

New Low for Lobos, Fans Lob Low Blows at Lobos’ Lobes

As someone that lives in a major city with not nearly as much going for it as LA, I would gladly welcome a team here and support public funding of a stadium even if I knew it would lose my city money. We lose money on shit way less cool than having a pro sports team all the time. And I hate myself for feeling this way…

Even for a casual commenter, this is poor Kinja.

“Probiotics screened by the USOC will be on the training table.”