Properly fried (crispy on outside, and mildly soft on the inside) and salted, tostones are Gods gift.

Maybe like you make tostones? Fry a cylinder of plantain a few minutes, place it upright on a brown paper lunch bag, fold the bag over the top, smash it into a disc with a small, heavy saucepan, refry till crisp.

Golly!

What a small, terrified nation we have become.

Two in the afternoon is correct.

Half the time I’m in a hotel I am usually running late and just grab a few individually wrapped items and take them back to my room. Nobody has ever said a word or looked at me funny. Granted I am not cramming them into a bag or pre-lined pocket.

Maybe they could serve chicken dusted with Gold Bond along with a side of IcyHot aioli.

Yes, it is just you.

*eyeroll*

“Take crap, add potatoes, and cheese (and probably some can of soup) and slam it into a casserole dish. Top with crushed potato chips and bake until hot. Wait for your bitch aunt Susan to say ‘on my gosh!’ as she has been brought to orgasm for the first time in 50 years.”

“Do I have to smile while I’m waiting tables?”

The fact that you actually clicked on this means you’re interesting in reading, and therefore, we’ll keep doing them.

I _JUST_ tried cantaloupe with Tajin on it for the first time ever last night. Total game changer. 

You'll like this.

Two words: Tajin seasoning. It's basically a lemon salt with spices, used to spruce up fruit in Mexican cuisine. I hate mushy apples, I'd prefer bland but crispy apples to sweet but soft ones. Both are better with Tajin.

I'm just a care bear who hates stupid people.

By saying that TV is make believe, is he implying that the makers of L&O:SVU used a fake bagel for the scene in question? Why would that have even happened unless Ice-T demanded they do so, which, if he did, seems to undermine the sincerity of his not-giving-a-fuck attitude toward (among other things) bagels .

I’m a very Italian Italian living in Phoenix, which means I’m around zero other Italians. Pastina was such a staple growing up that my husband now buys it for me when he sees it in the store (it’s real hard to find here, usually) to make for me when I’m sick or when my depression starts hitting really hard. I had no…

Dear Salty,

Time to get a new wife.