If you’re a conservative, not rich, and voted Dump, you’re a fool. Seriously. He’s not for you. He doesn’t care about you. In fact he doesn’t give a rat’s rear about you. All he cares about is how much you’ll cheer for him at his creepy wannabe-Nuremberg rallies. That’s it.

I saw Kawhactus open for Uriah Heep in ‘78. Great show, until the pyrotechnics malfunctioned.

Bob Newhart needs to learn to enjoy himself a little more.

Relevant:

Pretty sure this is actually a list of Bristol Palin’s exes.

MLB - “We’re totally against anything racist, suspensions all around!”

Also MLB - “This week on Sunday Night Baseball: Braves at Indians!”

>I said “it’s not the national anthem”, she responded with “my brother fought in Iraq!”

“Bret tackled Bret.” - Vince McMahon 

I saw him wrestle live. Tom Magee against Iron Mike Sharpe, who was apparently nursing some kind of forearm injury at the time. All I remember is Magee’s backbreaker finisher, what would happen if you set up a guy for an atomic drop, then just held him on your shoulder until he quit.

I don’t know a more embarrassing OJ to come out of USC.

Aunt Becky: “I just wanted so badly what was best for my child. I guess I took it too far.”

Audience: Awwwwwwww..... *sappy music begins playing*

Danny Tanner: Aw, Beck... It’s not about the name on the college diploma. It’s about knowing, wherever they go, your kid did the best they could.

Aunt Becky: “Thanks, Danny...…

Fuck you, fuck your milkman, fuck evening TV and take your star.

Always worth mentioning that “classless” == “ni**er” with these types.

*ahem*

That’s “wives,” Russ.

A few years ago, a client invited me to the member/guest outing at his country club. We were about half way through our round, about to tee off, when a guy ran across our fairway, club in hand, full sprint to the green of an adjacent hole, where he swung his club in an attempt to take another guy’s head off. He…

To be fair, people who still want to do the tomahawk chop in 2019 probably need it explained in a wordless diagram.

Co-signed. I was under the impression that ALL strip mall massage parlors are fronts for trafficking and prostitution. 

On the one hand, legalize and regulate sex work.