Hilarious, but unduly harsh.

Raphael Orlove: All class, all the time.

InB4 Brt shows up to vehemently disagree with #1.

During my drive to and from work I pass by a Porsche/Jaguar/Land Rover/Bentley/Aston Martin dealership and yesterday they had a new Bentley out front that they'd obviously just received as a trade-in.

Touché, salesman.

No, because we aren't all lunatics down here.

Yes, where I'm from there's a 75% chance that asking someone "so where are you from?" will result in an answer of either New York, Ohio, or New Jersey.

An untouchable hero is way worse than a villain who's too powerful, at least in stories where the reader or viewer is meant to side with the hero (which is most).

I've lived in Florida my whole life and I've never owned a crocodile. Nor an alligator.

This is how they bring Parker back. They un-do the Mephisto bullshit and kill Aunt May in exchange for getting Pete back.

That is not a bet I'm willing to take.

Among other things.

I have the honor of asking you to be my urine-soaked drunks and asshole waterfowl.

Thank you!

Are the identities of patients considered PHI? Because our instruction was to never tell anyone the names of anyone we saw going in or out of the hospitals because we had no way of knowing who was a patient and who was a visitor.

That's not what we were told during our training. In fact I think it's the only reason we received any training at all.

Would anyone care to clarify the point about smart and dumb apostrophes quotation marks? I don't understand what that means.

God, please say you're back in full force. Jalopnik needs more Spiegel.

To everyone sending requests to edit the Leaderboard document:

This.