In. A. Heartbeat.

I've always said that I would never run for public office unless I was wealthy enough to do it completely on my own without having to worry about accepting funds from either party or even voter donations. That way when I went out and called my opponents on their bullshit or said things that were true but utterly…

Curves 2016

SOMEONE GET BRIAN. This is screaming for some competition...

I am but a humble internet weirdo, sir, and I thank you for the points you have bestowed upon me.

Too. Easy.

It's official, Jalopnik's back everybody.

I've heard that wild boar is delicious.

Innovations? Lambo doors, flashy rims, and not much more

"...and possibly own."

I can confirm that yes, 2/10 is the lowest gearbox score of all of the Jalopnik Reviews.

It's pointless because you don't see any merit in it? Time to start your own website full of things you think are worth your time.

It seems that my point has zoomed over yet another head.

I'm all for it, so long as you fly us out there and put us up in some swanky place (preferably with a mini-bar I can abuse in spectacular fashion) with all of that Jalopnik money we know you're raking in.

Add a little ice cream and I call them Molotov Milk Shakes.

God, if anything could make a collision less stressful it's this. Whoopee cushions will be funny until the day I die.

Well then I won't show up at your house and force you at gunpoint to do this to your car.

It's only illegal, unsafe, and dumb if you actually do this to your car.

...

Cheers! *pokes Torch with the toe of his shoe* Ahhh, he'll be fine!