In grad school I would scoff at Hobbes. Now, as I survey the landscape that is my country, I regretfully apologize to his memory.

Next year's Why Your Team Sucks is going to be great

Thia should be incorporated into the article 

this is good but why the fuck are those parents taking kids with sensory issues to games?

this is a very good take

Giadiniera is a treasure. Malort is a treasure.

yeah but do you really want to live in a world where the amazon is intentionally set on fire?

this! 

my eyes nearly rolled out of my head at this. sounds like all my rogers park friends. 

“honestly believe that if dipshit made that kick, the Bears may have very well gone to and won the Super Bowl.”

Thats why he said “meat...or other filling”

Counterpoint: Houston is hideous and nothing but concrete. A pretty city would be Savannah.

Go back to middle school.

Can we agree that the 49th street stop is NEEDLESSLY hot? What is happening down there? I hate it more than I hate working in Times Square.

Is the throwing up portion of the story important because it is humorous, or because maybe you infer he has a concussion?

Take a breath dude

The Troubles are over man, chill

False, its well known he was a beautiful, white, blue eyed man. Duh. Everyone knows this. Lots of Anglo-Saxons and Germanic peoples running around Palestine back in the day.

Religion should be banned from all lists as to not offend anyone’s imaginary friends

Please be right. I work in advertising so I am quite far from understanding this - but the concern and anxiety is real.