I’ll be honest, every time the commercial of “Jamie’s home life” comes on, and he grabs the guitar and starts belting the classical sound of the Spanish tune, it gets me.

At what age do guys stop masturbating

I’ve been eating a plant-based diet for 4 years now and I can definitely tell you that I have a morning, early afternoon, late afternoon, evening “constitutional”.  My family also has a subscription through Amazon for Ultra Soft Charmin toilet paper and we have a bidet attachment on each of our toilets.  

C’mon Drew—Woody Hayes? Sure, the man is a world class asshole for punching an opposing player for the crime of beating his team and never apologizing.

“they still don’t qualify as members of a rogue’s gallery that could include Petrino, Gregg Williams, Tom Cable, Woody Hayes, DJ Durkin, Earle Bruce, plus Art Briles and Jerry Sandusky if you want to get extremely dark about it.”

Hey, I just watched “DP in Bawston” last night

Yeah. It’s always the “Just a half hour of cooking (if you’ve got the ingredients), and a half hour of cleanup, and you’ve got a better meal” comments.

My doctor said I was fat and getting old, and those two things don’t go together. So I cleaned up my diet and found that if you eat all the leafy greens they tell you to, you’ll shit between four and 15 times a day. And it’s not just me. Vegans apparently only talk about being vegan and defecate.

The “not really a salad” salad is great because all that fat in the bacon/fried chicken/ham/croutons/dressing is negated when it’s sitting on some iceberg lettuce, and it’s magically transformed into a healthy meal.

I used to work in one of those office park buildings with several businesses in it, but shared restrooms. There was an entire wing that had like... 1 business in it, so I walked all the way to the other side of the building, and upstairs to go to the less-used restroom.

Dude. The solution to “wipe doubt” is the safety wipe: use the stall when you only need to pee later in the day, and give yourself a safety wipe while your there.

I was watching Ant Man and The Wasp (pretty fun movie!), and at one point Luis drives up to the main characters and goes, “WASSSSSSSSSSUP”. After a beat, when no one responds, he says "You don't remember that beloved commercial? WASSSSSSSSSSSUP". I thought that whole thing was pretty funny

Counter-point: MRIs are awesome and I always get a mid-day nap when I get an MRI.

100% thought the Steak Night letter was ending with a no-one-else-home jerk.

but instead you’ll just get spotted by some nosy old lady who’ll write an angry letter to the management company about your cavalier nudity.

In my very humble opinion, the best time for a dump is approximately 30 minutes before your alarms go off in the morning. I’m perpetually late, so if I’ve got a doozie of a twozie on deck, it forces me to wake up, expel the demon, and then I can do a half wipe job and hop in the shower.

OK, but did you shit before, during or after the date?

“What is the best time to take a dump?”

I love a good “not really a salad” salad as much as the next avowed carnivore, but my girlfriend and I have been doing a really great spring mix/radish/cucumber/carrot salad with light olive oil dressing and lemon juice, and yes, young me hates what I’ve become, but not just for this.

The best time to take a dump is when you arrive home from work. The time you actually take a dump, that’s different. It’s at about 1130 when you walk away from the conference call because if you don’t, you’ll need a hazmat