Carp. Throwing carp on the ice.

Please have a star for “tongue bathe my cheese-knot.” Thank you for your service to Kinja.

This is a really crappie joke

Me: “Did you spend all night thinking of that one?”
EvenBaggierTrousers5: “I got to bed around 2:30 am...”

Are you looking for a Drum and cymbal play out for that one?

It’s a tradition for specifically annoying Red Wings fans, which is always a noble goal.

Just one guy got arrested? Not a grouper something? Huh.

You came within a whisker of the perfect post.

Well yeah, it goes back to the old “Pred Wings” days.

They also are charging him with 1) Stealing Detroit’s Schtick and 2) not being happy to see them, just having a fish in his pants.

He briefly was one of the best pitchers in the game.

T-minus ten years until E&Y announces the promotion of Lonzo’s forensic accountant to partner.

As a parent of three boys, I just feel so sorry for those kids because of what their asshole, attention-whore father is doing to them.

WHY DO HAET AMERICA AND THE SOLJERS WHO DIED FOR YOU’RE RIGHT TO MAKE THST COMEMET=!!1!

Why don’t any of their caps have bills? Seems weird to me.

It does kind of look like what would happen if Jesus got in a fistfight.

Props to Barry for the Plaschke burn

“We’re here to honor both baseball’s unwritten rules and America’s fallen heroes.” - New Era Cap Co.

Looks like a commercial for TRES-MMA