I've always said that soccer is like sex. With me, at least.

You do? Congrats.

I don't. I invited them over to my place to hang out.

The first rule of Fight Club is YOU. DO. NOT. TALK. ABOUT. GETTING. A. GYM. MEMBERSHIP.

I told you Five Guys wasn't good for your health.

Boston Globe: HERO WILFORK DISPLAYS PATRIOT WAY IN HELPING OVERTURNED MOTORIST

You can't expect a guy to always have a gap wedge in his bag.

At least he was reunited with the cut.

The decision to vacate the wins was nearly two and a half years old, so it comes as no surprise that Penn State completely fucked it.

Wow. Now Paterno is on pace to take an even bigger lead in 2017.

*sad trombone*

very soon, i hope

Well it did. I hope you're happy.

dust in the wind, my friend

Why did you respond to a comment that you don't care about? Trolls are weird...

sorry not sorry

You may have a medical condition. Please see a doctor.

it had to be said. this has gone on long enough

fuck you

Thank you for responding to my joke. I'm glad you were clear in telling me multiple times that you were not blaming the victim, because I was starting to worry a little bit that you were.