I'm confident he'll be a worldbeater.

+1

Judge: "This evidence is inadmissible. Bailiff, throw it out."
Bailiff: [throws evidence eight yards short of the garbage can]
Bailiff: [walks over and picks evidence up off the courthouse floor]
Bailiff: [throws evidence like ten yards over the garbage can and a bit to the right of it]
Bailiff: [walks over and picks…

Door across the hallway: "Dude! Are you OK?!"
Shot Door: [toughly] "Bro, I'm fine, I didn't even get my bell rung."

If anyone knows about going down easily, it's a soccer player.

uh

+1

I bet Newton regrets driving on the slant route now.

Mayweather promptly called tech support to report a Blue Screen Of Death.

Looks like the "Help Wanted" signs just got taken down at FIFA headquarters.

You guys cited the story incorrectly. This is from UAS Today.

[meh]

Jesus. +1

Well, now we know where the hot air for the Ford blimp went.

Forcing students to place themselves in real physical harm for the benefit of others? This is unprecedented!

I'm sure he'll be deflated soon.

The Bills may have come away with a W in the standings, but there was clearly an L in the stands.

I'm not racist, but is anyone surprised these Indians are giving their support and then taking it back?

I know you guys are devoted to obscure sports, but this is actually soccer, not curling.

Bryan Glazer: So, it says here that you used to run a criminal organization?
Biker Gang Minister: Yes.
Glazer: And you would prefer not to pay your employees guaranteed salaries?
Minister: If possible.
Glazer: Are you sure you're not buying the team?